You'd be hard pressed to find another relatively irrelevant story that's loaded with as many potentially relevant angles as the Chad Johhson/Evelyn Lozada argument/fight/arrest happens to possess. This is the blogger's/writer's/journalist's/reporter's version of The Aristocrats Joke --- a story that gives the writer an opportunity to use it for whichever agenda they see fit. You can go with the domestic violence angle, the ills of celebrity culture angle, the "NFL players can't help but get arrested" angle, the "Since Lozada is known to be violent, this is nothing but chickenheads coming home to roost" angle, the gender-based double standard angle, the open relationship angle, the sham wedding angle, and even the "Is this a story worth reporting on?" angle

To call it low-hanging fruit would be an insult to low-hanging fruit everywhere. This is fruit that was picked, peeled, compressed, juiced, and injected intravenously.

With that being said, one angle you probably won't see too much of is the sympathetic one. There won't exactly be any tears shed about the relationship troubles the reality show bully and the attention-whore NFL millionaire are having. And, there shouldn't be. Anyone outside of the immediate Lozada/Johnson circle upset by this needs to do better at life.

Still --- and getting back to the idea of '"relevance" --- it is sad to see what happens when two people are both at points in their lives when their main forms of currency are becoming less and less current. In Johnson's case, despite his name recognition, he is in the twilight of his NFL career. Even if the Dolphins didn't cut him because of this incident, they likely would have cut him because he's just not a very good NFL football player anymore. The days of him appearing on Sportscenter for something positive he did on the football field are long over.

And, perhaps one of the only falls harder than the one some professional athletes take when the sport no longer needs (or wants) him is the one experienced when the type of woman whose life is completely dependent on being physically attractive and sexually available to wealthy men begins to, no pun intended, fall off. Just as I'm sure Johnson is aware that his career's expiration date is fast approaching, Lozada surely knows that her days of being able to land an NBA or NFL star may be coming to an end as well, and this cannot be a good feeling.

I still will not shed any tears for either Johnson or Lozada, and neither should you. But, I hope to never know what that type of soul-altering desperation feels like. And, as a human, I feel bad that they both do.

Read it at ESPN.