D.L. Hughley Wants You to 'Shut Up' and Read

D.L. Hughley Wants You to 'Shut Up' and Read

The comedian dishes on women, politics and why America's doing everything wrong

Jamilah Lemieux

by Jamilah Lemieux, August 13, 2012

D.L. Hughley Wants You to 'Shut Up' and Read

DL Hughley

Photo courtesy of Radio Big Boy

I have to address some of the hostility you seem to have towards Black women in your book. You know, Black women have been in many ways very supportive of our brothers...

DH: I think that the relationship between Black men and women is almost very antagonistic now. I think that this happens for a number of reasons. I think that Black women feel abandoned. I think they feel left out, left behind. I think they think we have been supportive and this is what we get? I read a survey or poll that said that interracial marriages have never been more popular and the most likely to marry outside of their race is a Black man. I also read another poll that said 45% of Black women will never marry...We grew up with Black mothers and so you really picked what you knew. You were around Black women, and that was all you could get...Now the world is so much more diverse and Black men are making a lot of different choices and are comfortable making choices. I think that Black women are not as comfortable making different choices. I think is still a last frontier for them to venture out to do something different. I think when they are envisioning family they want what they grew up thinking about which was a Black man and a Black women raising Black kids.

​EBONY: More Black people in this country more have a [present] mother than they do have a father, yet as women when we look for a partner we are very loyal to you in a way that, as you say, isn't always returned. Why don’t you think that there is a level of reciprocity? Should we be looking for it?

DH:  could only speak for myself. I have been married to a Black woman 26 years. I have never been with a White woman, although if my wife is ever hit by a train or truck or something, that might be a different thing.

EBONY: You said in your book that she was the only Black woman you could marry.

DH: Absolutely the only one.

EBONY: Why is that? Because she is so wonderful or because you think the rest of us are screwed up?

DH: I think it’s a combination of both. I could never marry any of her friends, I couldn’t have married my mother, I couldn’t have married my sisters, I couldn’t have married my cousins, I couldn’t have married my friends. Black women are kind of like… it is a relationship where its either your in charger or they are in charge. It is like you either you run the house or I run the house. I mean that’s cool, I think a lot of that is because they had to learn how to support themselves and to do things alone. And now its either you’ll be stronger than them or you wont be in their lives. I've seen Black women leave good men because they were bored or because they thought they could run all over them...Black women are a specialized taste.

EBONY: You have powerful things in your book where you say wake up y'all  to the brothers, but we (black women) are kind of depicted like the bad guys. "A specialized taste?"

DH: I didn’t say y'all were the bad guys. I think Black women in general require a stronger hand. It is a delicate dance. It is not an easy thing at all. You have to be strong, but not so strong and you have to be sensitive and not so sensitive.

EBONY: Is it worth it?

DH: If it wasn’t I wouldn’t be here. Actually after a while, if it is not what you want to do, you don’t do it. I’ll say two things, if it wasn’t worth it… I have never known a woman to make me as angry and I have never found a woman who I found more striking just in general. I have never seen a more beautiful thing on earth than a Black woman. 

EBONY: Your next book should be how to love a Black woman.

DH: Who the f*ck knows how to do that? I think I know how to love [my wife] and I would think that she would say it is as hard to love me. I know I am not easy either.

EBONY: So can we agree that it isn’t easy for us to be with you all and it’s not easy for you all to be with us?

DH: Wait a minute. I didn’t say that. I just said my wife would say I wasn’t an easy man to be with.

EBONY:  Let's move on. Are there any other projects that you have coming up in the next year?

​DH: I am a correspondent on Good Afternoon America. Right now, I'm taping a documentary with Comedy Central where I’m trying

Stay in the Know
Sign up for the Ebony Newsletter