Keeping it Reality: Out of Africa, Into More Drama

According to Auntie Phaedra, “You eulogize yourself by the deeds you do everyday and it’s got to be more than superficial things.” If that’s really the case, then Marlo would be remembered as a label freak, Nene as a shadeful being and Sheree as a messy fool. On last night’s episode of “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” they return home, bringing a whole lot of baggage with them. 

Kim needs help – Apparently, having two housekeepers, a chef and an assistant is REALLY exhausting, so Kim needs a nanny for baby KJ. Wig adjusting must be really hard, y’all. Maybe she could concentrate on whatever it is that she does if her assistant, Sweetie considered doing work as opposed to sitting by the pool sunbathing. If only Sweetie was getting paid to the rock pink lipstick that makes her look like Tyrone Biggums around the mouth.

Peter wants to party – It’s almost been a year since no one thought it was a good idea for Cynthia and Peter to get married, so to celebrate, he wants to throw a party. I’m gonna need Uncle Ben to let his bank account cook instead of trying to host a shindig to prove folks wrong. As Nene said, “People spend their money whatever way they want to. Some pay bills, some throw parties.” WELP! Peter Thomas stays spending his dereon dollars terribly, and then needing PayDay loans from Cynthia. Even Miss Cleo could see this disaster coming.

Bryson goes to jail – Nene finds out that her son, Bryson, has been arrested and is in jail. That child of hers stole two $14 razors from WalMart and got caught. He might as well go steal ketchup packets from the local Piggly Wiggly. If you’re going to violate your probation, it better be for something that makes sense. Nene decides to show him tough love so she doesn’t bail him out and he’s been in the county jail for almost a week. I’m not mad at her because her son committed a petty crime so she has all the right to be petty herself.

MIA Chateau Sheree – Phaedra and Kandi decide to stop by the lot where Sheree is supposed to be building her house. “Chateau Sheree” must be French for “hole in the ground” because there was nothing there. Unless Sheree wants to go camping in a giant pit, the house still doesn’t exist and it made the ladies question her financial situation. Maybe the sales from She by Sheree haven’t been withdrawn from her PayPal account yet. Bless her heart.

Lunch at Kim’s, Lies on Kandi – Kim invites the ladies to lunch, and Sheree shows up first. Methinks she went earlier just to instigate because she brings up the issue from last episode, accusing Kandi of saying she couldn’t picture Kim holding Black babies in an orphanage. Kim foolishly takes Sheree’s word for it, saying “Sheree doesn’t lie. She’s had my back for 10 years.” Oh, you mean the same woman who literally snatched your wig a couple of years ago, Kim? Aight girl.

When Phaedra and Kandi show up, the big pink elephant in the room (not Kim’s collagen lips) finally fell on the table when orphanage-gate was brought up again. Kandi defends herself and said Cynthia made the babies statement, but Sheree jumps in to add fuel to the fire. A shouting match between Kandi and Sheree ensues and Kandi is accused of being racist towards Kim. All I want for Sheree is for her to stop doing the most with the least and #OccupyASeat in the corner. And folks wonder why she can’t have nice things.

 Next week, Kim is at her wit’s end with Sweetie, who apparently told her 14-year old to go “f$%* yourself.” If true, Sweetie might be President of Team Bad Decisions, so we shall see. Stay tuned ya'll!

 Luvvie is a writer, social media strategist and Red Pump Rocker, who blogs at Awesomelyluvvie.com. You can follow her on Twitter @luvvieig and like her on Facebook.