some serious stone damage around this Amber Rose situation. Just because you never danced on a stripper pole does not make you Betty Shabazz. Many of us non-strippers could tell some stories that would make our mothers blush...and remember that they, too, have managed to amass some stories while on this planet. And just because you did dance on a stripper pole (or a rapper's lap) doesn't mean you are now disqualified for the Love Olympics and you should be forced to walk alone, in shame, for the rest of your days.
The phrase "h*es stay winning" has gotten some traction with the youth in recent years and it comes up every time a woman of 'ill repute' like Amber gets lucky in love. Now, while I don't deny my own personal distaste for women AND men who are cheaters or liars or manipulators, I have to say that when you hear the word "h*e" lobbed at a woman...the real sentiment is often about her sexual autonomy. The fact that she is not owned by a singular person or a code of ethics that may not work for her. Perhaps these women are "winning" because they are choosing freedom over boundaries and personal pleasure over dated social constructs. .
The sexist shaming of women for being sexual is, well, a shame. The fact that women are almost as active, if not more active, in keeping these attitudes around feminine sexuality alive is just really tragic. There are so many shades of grey, we can't continue to color our sisters in black and white, virgin and whore. We can't keep holding each other to rigid standards that most women fail to meet and most men don't even attempt to match. You don't have to be a Amber Rose fan, but please don't act like the sister doesn't deserve to have a man who loves her because of her former profession and her ex-flame. She seems pretty happy with where her journey has taken her. Just make sure you can say the same.
Jamilah Lemieux is the News & Lifestyle editor for EBONY.com. She's on Twitter: @jamilahlemieux