Michael Arceneaux, EBONY.com contributor and Master of Shade, calls out five of his biggest gripes from the past week. Rejoice and be read. Follow Michael @youngsinick.

1. Cosby’s In The Club, Doing The Same Old Two Step: In the past, Bill Cosby has managed get media outlets as varied as the National Enquirer and CBS News to shy away from reporting on stories that he didn’t want told. This reportedly includes an admission of an extramarital affair with Dan Rather for a 60 Minutes segment his agent would later demand not be aired in 1997 (it wasn’t) and of course, accusations of sexual assault which the National Enquirer opted not to do in light of a threat of a $250 million lawsuit along with an ultimate deal for Cosby to do an interview with the tabloid in 2000.

With mounting accusations of rape and lingering media attention that has posed damning ramifications for Cosby personally and professionally, the legendary comedian has launched a familiar approach: hiring private investigators to dig up dirt on his accusers, publicly bashing them, and then blaming the media. With all due respect to Cosby’s likely expensive pool of lawyers, crisis managers, and publicists, they’re bringing a VHS tape to a house now entertained by Netflix.

At this rate, for every accuser Cosby tries to shame, they’ll likely be 14 and a half more ready to lend their own story. Pudding Pop, how you go and sit with a journalist and tell your side of the story? Or Lisa Bonet, if she’s available. What’s the matter, Sweaters? Are you that afraid of being – gasp – challenged?

2. The Garage Sale Still Looks Shady, Sir: While the Knowles woman continue to slay the world one, rich person selfie at a time, Mathew Knowles is out in Houston selling his kids’ belongings at a garage sale. However, don’t you dare think he’s doing this to make child support payments to his second baby mama.

Speaking with KPRC in Houston, Mathew said, “If I needed money, I wouldn’t sell $5 T-shirts. I’d sell a Grammy or an MTV award. So that is insulting to think we need to sell $5 T-shirts. No, I don’t think so.”

Fair enough, but if I see one of LaTavia’s unmailed royalty checks and/or Soul Train Awards listed on eBay, I now know who to blame.

3. Read The Fine Print, Fool: Ohio resident Jason Best thought he was going to roll into 2015 with a lot of cash on hand after he purchased $650 worth of tickets for The Interview, which was only playing at one theater in his town. Then the movie became immediately available on YouTube, Google Play, and Xbox so Best’s plan was foiled. He tried to get a refund only to be told the tickets qualified for “special events” status – which MovieTickets.com does not grant refunds on. Plus, you know, that whole scalping thing.

Jason is now complaining to the press about this ordeal, proving yet another example of why everything about this damn movie is terrible.

4. Let The People Enjoy Their Abu Dhabi Tickets: Now, I’m legitimately curious to see how those flights to Abu Dhabi that cost $4.75 and half a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos go next year. However, I wish some of your cousins didn’t feel compelled to trash other people’s spending habits. I personally am still weary of going anywhere that says sodomy might get you popped, but that’s more of a personal problem. Thanks to that deal, a bunch of people will now have the chance to see a part of the world they may have otherwise never thought to venture to and enjoy a once in a lifetime experience. Maybe they’ll have to lift their luggage in prayer before boarding, but overall this is something to be celebrated, not scorched for sport. Don’t always be evil, social media.

5. Black Twitter Rap Battle: It was bad enough to know that there are people in this world who will drive 35-miles on Christmas Day to fight a stranger over their hatred of Kobe Bryant, but now there is a diss track floating around about it all. Like, “Be careful when you tweet me.” And the song isn’t even that bad, but IT STILL SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN RECORDED. Y’ALL ARE CRAZY.

I needed to lock my caps for that.