To you Michelle Williams haters out there:
I realize everything isn’t for everyone. Michelle Williams can sing, but her voice is certainly an acquired taste – like grapefruit. Some enjoy the tartness, a few can only take it mixed with tequila, but others argue it was one of the few mistakes God made (alongside the first season of A Different World.)
Michelle has had some shining vocal moments, though I’d be lying if I didn’t listen to several Destiny’s Child songs and thinking, “Damn! She messed up the vibe.”
So I understand your grievances, but at the same time, y’all don’t have to be so cut throat when expressing them.
Of course, I’ve got to start with Oakland’s meanest: Keyshia Myeshia Cole.
Girl, you’ve told us who all have hurt you, but why haven’t you talked to someone who can help you knock those big bags of Hot Cheetos and Takis off your shoulders? Although you still look like the type who will cut someone in the face, as a fan, we’ve got to work this out.
You tweeted: “I think I was frightened to blink for a sec. Then Mitchel (sic) sung and woke my a*s up from my daze! She always f*ckN the groove up”
Ma’am, despite whatever “foul s**t” you say Michelle once said about you during a performance, you’ve got to know going on a social media site to blast a peer is begging for the virtual clap back. People were dense to bring up your mom being an addict, given that’s irrelevant and out of bounds, but meanness begets meanness. And with all due respect, as much as I love your music (the first two albums the most, though), your voice is an acquired taste, too.
That means if Michelle’s voice is a grapefruit, yours gives teases of a Black and Mild, and just like the grapefruit, smoking an apple-flavored Black isn’t everybody’s thing either. Basically: Channel that energy into something else, like your own music.
As for the rest of you, I would swear Michelle snatched your spot in Destiny’s Child. If LeToya Luckett can befriend Michelle Williams and LaTavia Roberson can let bygones be just that, move on.
I’m not saying you have to like her or pretend you’re in a rush to buy her next solo album, but you don’t have to directly tell her on Twitter, “You ain’t s**t, ain’t every been s**t, and won’t ever be s**t.” Or inform her that you hope she doesn’t end up at the Super Bowl because she’s a drag, which is something I witnessed Michelle respond to. In fact, unless a celebrity says something that’s inflammatory and insulting, there is no real reason to directly aim your bitchiness their way.
Maybe Michelle does dance like she left her good leg at home, but your opinion doesn’t have to be hurled her way with such vitriol.
Not to mention, for the love of God, stop making jokes about Michelle Williams being unemployed. You are free to say stupid things devoid of fact as you please, but the Internet makes it too easy for you to find out certain information. Such as…the reality that Michelle has consistently found stage work since Destiny’s Child disbanded.
TMZ, which is increasingly morphing into the Caucasians’ answer to Media Take Out, helps with the promotion of this fallacy, but the real gag is not only is Michelle employed, she’s collecting much bigger checks than all the fools clowning her. She's a member of the greatest selling girl group of all time. In the words of Mother Oprah: "And you are?"
She can a buy a Wendy’s franchise, so if you can’t make a similar claim… shove one of those dollar-menu nuggets in your mouth and shut your silly self up.
Michael Arceneaux is the author of the “The Weekly Read,” where on the surface the shade might make the culprit want to curse, but trust, it comes from a place of concern. Tweet him at @youngsinick.