Same Sex Marriage:<br />
Love Ain't Gonna Hurt Nobody

Let’s get something straight, straight people, you’re not the ones under siege.

It’s hard out here for a heterosexual, y’all.

So says some new anti-marriage equality political ads running in Maine hoping to fight off Question 1, which will appear on the state ballot as: "Do you want to allow the State of Maine to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples?" The group behind the media blitz pushing the “hell no” answer is Protect Marriage Maine, who according to their Web site, are a “bi-partisan statewide grassroots coalition of pastors, organizations and individuals” who believe that “when marriage is redefined there are significant consequences to individuals, small businesses, churches, couples and especially to children.”

In other words, your garden-variety religious sheep that feel people like me are nothing more than sexual deviants who want to soil an institution that’s long been about as clean as the mattress of a bed wetter.

And per tradition, while it’s perfectly fine for them to insinuate that gay people are icky, therefore, completely damaging to the minds of children, it’s so not cool for them to being vilified for their vilification of others. Thus, in one ad features the owner of Wildflower Inn, the subject of a discrimination case regarding a same-sex couple in Vermont.

The two claim: "Question 1 means consequences as has occurred elsewhere, like Vermont: 'A lesbian couple sued us for not supporting their gay wedding because of our Christian beliefs. We had to pay $30,000 and can no longer host any weddings at our inn.'" 

Everyone stop and hit the “south side” like Destiny’s Child ‘cause this is the remix.

Robert Appel, executive director of the Vermont Human Rights Commission explained to the Portland Press Herald, "(The case) has nothing to do with marriage equality -- zero, nada, zilch.” Yeah, Jim and Mary O’Reilly of the Wildflower Inn’s case was not about religious freedom or freedom of speech so much as it was a willful violation of the state’s nondiscriminatory laws. They’re guising their bad in an effort to enjoy an exercise in scare tactics.

Joining them is Canadian sportscaster Damian Goddard, who claims in a separate ad that he got canned from his job after tweeting support for a sports agent who opposed same sex marriage. However, as Think Progress points out, Goddard had a slew of spate of anti-gay tweets versus a single hand-clap for man and woman only marriages. Not to mention he was a freelance contractor who was never guaranteed longtime employment. The network itself decided that Goddard “is not the right fit for our organization.”

Let go and let LinkedIn find you a way, dude.

You would think that a group that used mostly religious dogma to lend credence to its stance might try “morality” in their approach i.e. honesty. Then again, anyone who knows better wouldn’t. I don’t know why they were asking a Canadian about his opinion anyway given he’s irrelevant, plus Canada legalized same sex marriage nearly a decade ago and hasn’t erupted in flames yet.

Not to be outdone, Maryland state Sen. (and Black man) C. Anthony Muse (D), penned an op-ed in the Washington Post peddling this same talking point.

It’s always troublesome to hear a person of color defend laws that have “been around for thousands of years” given the same logic was used to defend slavery, but it’s even stupider when reading in the context of “it should be okay to hide your prejudice under the pretense of religion.” And to whine that those who can no longer do so “could experience assaults on their tax-exempt status.”

So what? The Ted Haggards of the world and their equally hateful Black counterparts never deserved tax breaks to begin with, so if they ultimately go away (they won’t, but dare to dream) all I have to say is, “Look at God.”

Are these people under the impression that Ruhollah Khomeini drafted our constitution?

I’m painfully aware that I’m going to be subjected to this same overly dramatic nonsense for at least another decade, but goodness, I want to find the largest table on Earth and shake it.

Let’s get something straight, straight people, you’re not the ones under siege. As Melissa Gorga told Teresa Guidice on The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion, “YOU’RE NOT THE VICTIM HERE! I’M THE VICTIM!’ I’m kind of Team Tre actually, but the quote works here.

People are free to have whatever opinion they want, but if you allow said opinion to interfere with the laws of the land that’s no consequence of fighting “the gay agenda”; it’s exactly what you deserve. Get that through your thick skulls already no matter what the future holds for gay marriage.

Michael Arceneaux is a Houston-bred, Howard-educated writer and blogger. You can read more of his work on his site, The Cynical Ones. Follow him on Twitter: @youngsinick