Dear B. Scott,
I hate to admit this, but I am a 28-year-old woman who has never been in a relationship. I've never been kissed, nor touched and yes—I'm still a virgin. I've never even been out on a date. I would love to be loved and to experience a relationship but the fact that I do not get approached by men makes me feel unattractive. I definitely do not want to become a 30-year-old virgin and it's not just about sex…I really just want to be in a relationship and I don't want to enter my 30s with no experience in love.
I'm also a pretty shy person, so what can I do to get some confidence and put myself out there so I can finally get some loving?
Dear Love Muffin,
Let me start off by saying that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being 28 and never being in a relationship.
However, if you want to get off the sidelines and get into the dating game then that’s exactly what you need to do.
I’m afraid that for some, simply standing by and waiting for a guy to fall out of the sky isn’t an option. Don’t let the fact that you aren’t approached by men lower your confidence. Before you can even begin to think about loving someone else, you have to make sure that you love yourself first.
It’s okay to be shy, but you can’t allow ‘being shy’ to be your crutch. Self-confidence is super important when it comes to leaving a first impression on a guy and a lot of times that impression is made before you even formally introduce yourself.
My personal favorite confidence-building activity is, of course, experimenting with my look! Switch up your hair, experiment with your makeup, grab your girlfriends and go shopping for clothes that make you feel sexy! You’d be surprised at how much confidence you’ll find in a new pair of heels or a little black dress!
If you still find yourself struggling with traditional ways of dating (i.e. going out and meeting strangers), I’d suggest trying something new — maybe online dating. Online dating is a great way to ease into the idea of meeting new people while easing anxiety that comes with awkward first encounters.
Whatever you decide to do, it’s all about believing in yourself and knowing what you want. Remember, it's never too late to be the person you always wanted to be.
Submit your questions now: firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to tweet us @lovebscott with the hashtag #AskBScott