Dear Starrene,

You are neurotic about a future that you can’t control and it’s making you miss out on the fullness of life. Your career is at a standstill after a thankless six months of working for a racist chump, but contrary to what you believe, that wasn’t your big break after all, and you should be happy you got let go. You’re constantly comparing yourself to other people, and all of the above results in your borderline high-blood pressure, anxiety and constant state of worry.

You finally ended that relationship with the emotionally abusive megalomaniac, then got your heart broken by the new guy, who abruptly revealed that he was in love with someone else. Yet ironically, that pain is what propels you to becoming a better woman.

There will be more big breaks and fails that will contribute to your misanthropy, but life will improve. Eventually, you will decide to focus on finding happiness by pursuing childhood passions. You’ll start dancing again, performing, working out, adopt a vegan raw foodist lifestyle (for a little while), get a freelance writing groove going, learn how to date again and generally start having the fun that you should have been allowing yourself to have all along.

Eventually, Mr. Man is going to come back into your life in an unexpected way and he will apologize. Guess what? For the first time ever, you’ll genuinely forgive someone. This action will allow you to have better insight on how timing works in life. When it’s right, it’s perfect, and when it’s wrong, the universe will protect you as long as you have faith and—to quote The Beatles—let it be.

Brace yourself for milestones you never imagined, like marrying said man who broke your heart, relocating to a new city and being less negative. And by the way, 30 isn’t as bad as you think. I can’t promise that life won’t have more bumps, but you’ll be happy with the woman that heartbreak allowed you to become.

Love,

Your Future Self

Mr. and Mrs. Rocque are the couple formerly known as Anslem Samuel and Starrene Rhett, New York-based journalists who found love in between bylines. Follow the newlyweds’ musings of a marriage in progress here, on Twitter and via their joint blog.