It seems like everyone is moving at the speed of sound, especially in these hurried days of ambitious go-getters grinding to the top of their respective careers. At the crack of dawn, the streets become flooded with anxious individuals filled with caffeinated ambitions to make the current day more successful than the last, leaving many feeling drained and exhausted when it is time to retire at the end of the workday.
It also seems that many who fall into this type of scenario often unknowingly place their relationships on the back burner, becoming unaware of how this type of burning desire for success is actually scorching the bond of intimacy they share with their partners. It’s sad to admit when one has chosen work over pleasure and the satisfaction of their partner, but this doesn’t have to be so.
Life is all about balance, and although work is important, the individuals you choose to love hold just as much importance (if not more). If a balance between work and romance is what you seek, try incorporating a few of these tips, and watch your relationship transform into the vibrant union you know it can be.
Leave work at the office if possible
It’s common for couples who work jobs outside of the home to bring unfinished work with them at the end of the night. Although work is important to maintain a lifestyle of comfort, it can sometimes get in the way of developing a deeper romantic bond with your partner during what’s supposed to be intimate time.
Typing away at a computer or mobile device while dinner’s supposed to be taking place, or holding conference calls when you should be cuddling, can become an unhealthy habit for any couple desperately in need of quality time together with no interruptions. If it can be helped, leave the bulk of your work at the office, and put off until the next morning whatever can be when you return to the office.
The only way to truly maintain a healthy balance between work and romance is to develop limits on how much time is spent working and how much time is actually spent on erotic play and intimacy building. While it’s great to be ambitious about providing for a family and becoming accomplished in one’s career, there has to be just as much ambition put into romancing your partner if sustaining a fulfilled relationship is important to you. Work only during designated work hours, and make a new commitment to cut it off when your feet enter the threshold of your home.
Set standard date/sex nights
When workloads become insanely hectic, it can be very easy to let your romantic life fall by the wayside. To avoid abandoning ship on your love life, carve out time within the week or on weekends for date nights. Take the time out of your busy schedule to sit with your partner and establish a time that works for the both of you to come together for a fun night out on the town.
If budgets are tight or setting up a babysitter isn’t an option, plan to have date night right in your home by making dinner for two a special occasion. Putting time and energy into creating a romantic scene in your own home is a great way to further establish your place of solitude as a ground for play and pleasure. Setting aside time to treat yourself and your partner to at least one night of erotic play—where you give yourselves permission to focus on nothing but pleasure—will help usher in a healthy balance that will leave you both looking forward to next time.
Just as you plan out your restaurant or what the next date night activity might be, planning out sexual activity must be done in the same way. It’s easy for couples to push sex aside when there are so many deadlines to meet and kids to tend to. Energy may be close to depletion for those who juggle several hats during the day. But carving out a specific block of time dedicated to erotic expression brings stability to your romance.
Plan out exactly what type of activity will happen during “erotic hour,” whether it’s a mutual massage, bathing together, actual sex, or just laying together enjoying the energy and company of each other. Low-energy activities like the latter are great for those who may feel depleted after a hard day of work, yet want to make a commitment to deepening their relationship.
Whatever you and your partner plan for those moments to usher intimacy and romance into your relationship is up to you. Be as creative or simple as you want. The cardinal rule is simply to commit to making the time to build your bond. Some may argue that the spontaneity of sex goes out of the window when things are planned. But when work places stress and strain on your daily routine, sexual activity can likewise become less spontaneous (or damn near absent) as a result.
Give yourself permission to play
This may seem like a no brainer, but many people often feel guilty when they have to pull away from work to take time to relax and enjoy the people around them. Telling yourself it’s OK to put work aside for a moment to enjoy your beloved lessens the guilt of taking time away from work and opens your life to the process of building. Nothing improves without putting time and effort into making necessary changes, and by giving yourself permission to dedicate time to enhance intimacy with your partner, you make the commitment to change.
This shows your partner you’re devoted to making things work, and also shows you have a caring heart for more than just your own ambitions. All work and no play throws the scale off balance, so give yourself the playtime you deserve for all the hard work you’ve been putting in. Your partner will be happy you did.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.glamerotica101.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.