Thanks to the wonders of our first joint tax return, I was able to finally trade in my 2008 MacBook for an about-damn-time 2013 model. With my new purchase came the much-needed task of digital spring-cleaning. As I began rummaging through files to determine what was worth keeping or tossing, I came across a few things from my single days: namely, a folder of semi-NSFW (not safe for wife) pictures of women from my distant past.  

There was nothing overtly vulgar or scandalous, but the images were provocative in nature and, at the time, sent with the intent to arouse. As a married man, I found myself in a perplex predicament: do I keep these photos or delete these photos? #decisions

I thought back to a similar situation a more seasoned married friend found himself in early on in his relationship with his future wife. When they moved in together, his then-girlfriend asked (more like told) him to toss all physical reminders of his ex. This included pictures, letters, Christmas cards and the lot. My single self thought it was completely ludicrous, because we all had lives before getting with our current partners and, truth be told, those experiences made us the men we are today. I view mementoes as personal bookmarks in the chapters of your life.  

Needless to say, my friend decided to toss all the flicks of his ex, while I stuck to my belief that it was unfair to discard totally PC images of international vacations and birthday gatherings. It’s not like these pictures would take up residence on the fridge right next to the future kids’ report cards, but my life—past, present and future—should be able to coexist alongside our life. 

The keyword though is “should.”

Luckily for me, Mrs. Rocque doesn’t concern herself with my past and vice versa. We have an understanding built on trust that won’t let a simple thing like a picture or a long lost love letter sour what we have. Now if either of us were constantly going back to said reminder of an ex, then that would be a different scenario altogether that would result in a healthy heart-to-heart.

But in the case of my forgotten folder of flicks, they’re best left forgotten. While I didn’t opt to delete them, they remain as tucked away reminders of the man I was and women that fit my lifestyle then (but certainly not now). Although I didn’t discuss my decision to not delete with the Mrs., I’m sure she’ll have some interesting insight upon reading this blog entry—as should y’all. 

Should someone delete all personal reminders of their ex when they get in a new relationship or get married? Or should your partner be secure enough in the relationship to know that the past is the past and respect the fact that you have personal mementos? Speak your piece…

Mr. and Mrs. Rocque are the couple formerly known as Anslem Samuel and Starrene Rhett, journalists who found love in between bylines. Follow the newlyweds’ musings of a marriage in progress here, on Twitter and via their joint blog.