It’s a known fact that during pregnancy a woman’s hormones can rage out of control, causing fits of sexual desire that need to be quenched. This week, I received a letter from a young woman (let’s call her Lady with Baby), and her situation was one I’ve coached a few couples through in the immediate past.
She wrote: “I am five months pregnant and currently on pelvic rest for several weeks. I still have the desire to please my partner, but I don’t know how. What can you recommend for me to do to make sure my partner is satisfied during my pelvic rest, and what positions are great for me to use after I’m well and healed?”
This letter was inspiring to me, because even though her body was going through all types of amazing changes, Lady with Baby maintained her sexual drive and her need to keep her man satisfied even though she had the understanding that her pelvis needed to rest for some time. So in answering this question for the beautiful mother to be, I realized that not only was this answer layered, but that her question was common for many pregnant women. The first step to having a sexually pleasurable pregnancy is ensuring the safety and comfort of mother and baby.
It’s a rule of thumb that one is supposed to treat others how they want to be treated in order to receive what they want in return. And when it comes to a woman carrying the seed of a man she considers to be the love of her life, the same rules apply. The father-to-be can do a few things to help make his partner feel comfortable and safe before any sexual activity—including back rubs (especially the lower back), foot massages and shoulder kneading.
A woman must feel comfortable before engaging in any type of sexual experience; it’s no different for women who are expecting. Spare no expense when it comes to the comfort of a woman bearing life in her womb. The better she feels, the more satisfaction she’ll be willing to give out of gratitude. Make her feel safe and sexy by dishing out compliments about how beautiful she looks, further securing her trust.
Being on pelvic rest is a pretty serious thing during pregnancy, which requires the expecting mother to avoid sex for a period of time. This is to ensure the environment holding and developing the baby maintains a healthy and stable state. A woman may have been given doctor’s orders to stay away from erotic play, but her hormones may be giving a totally different set of instructions to feed her desires.
A woman’s body often becomes more attractive and appealing to many men during pregnancy, so there’s no surprise that Lady with Baby couldn’t keep her partner’s hands off of her even with orders from the doctor. “I really want to please my partner,” she wrote, with passionate longing in the tone of her message.
So what exactly can one do for sexual pleasure on pelvic rest? There are a couple of things that can be performed using the mouth and hands that require an open mind and a willingness to participate. Each one of these techniques provides sexual satisfaction without involving the pelvis.
1. Hand stroke
A firm grip and a use of the palm of the hand as well as the fingers are techniques needed to ensure a pleasurable hand-stroking experience. Some couples tend to shy away from using hands during sex. But for those moments of intense sexual desire when one partner is unable to perform fully, a set of soft hands coupled with flavored or warming lubricant will go a long way. Using flavored lubricant is a great way to transition into the next acceptable sexual activity on the list: oral sex.
2. Oral sex
Oral sex is one of the easiest ways for a pregnant woman to please her partner if she’s on pelvic rest, because it only requires use of the mouth. There are several positions one can use in order to make this technique comfortable for both partners, including “traditional kneeling position,” “68” and “head rest.” Visuals of these sex positions and how to get into them can be found on my blog site, Glamerotica101.com, or on sexinfo101.com. (This site has awesome 3D moving graphics that show how couples should move when in perfect position.)
Sex positioning during pregnancy can be a challenge, but the positions to use are simple and known by the average sexually active adult. Missionary, spooning and cowgirl and their variations can be utilized to diversify the sexual experience.
Missionary position places the female partner in a comfortable position on her back, which is a great way for a pregnant woman to relax and not worry about the safety of the developing child. Pillows can be used underneath the lower back or under the shoulders and head to increase comfort and create unique angles for intensified pleasure.
Whether the feet are placed flat on the bed with the knees bent or extended into the air placed over shoulders, any variation of this basic position is sure to satisfy any expecting couple. (Bonus tip: use a clitoral vibrator in this position to increase pleasure for the female partner. Incorporating a toy into these sexual situations will turn up the notch on sex appeal.)
Spooning is a great way to build intimacy and is a comfortable position for the female partner, because she’s allowed to lie on her side, ensuring the belly is in a safe position during sex. While cuddling before bedtime, the male partner positions himself behind the female partner, placing her bum in his pelvis for easy access to enter her.
This position provides some of the deepest penetration of all the sex positions, but it also places the female partner in charge of her sexual satisfaction. Clitoral stimulation coupled with penetration is often needed for the average woman to climax, and in cowgirl position, it’s easy to receive both of these stimulants. Whether in traditional cowgirl, reverse cowgirl or Asian cowgirl, this position is sure to satisfy both partners if performed correctly. The key to riding in cowgirl position is knowing how to isolate and move the hips in sync with a partner. Think of it like Dirty Dancing, except with fewer clothes.
Once I responded to Lady with Baby with my answers, she was thrilled to know that her erotic play didn’t have to be interrupted by doctor’s orders. She thanked me for my help and relayed the message to her hubby, who was even more excited than she was.
Pregnancy doesn’t have to mean the death of a couple’s sex life or the loss of sex appeal. Pregnancy should be a time to deepen intimacy and bonding before the beautiful bundle of joy hits the world. Experiment with variations of positions, sexual aids and hands to keep things spicy and sexy during those expecting months and keep the love alive.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.glamerotica101.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.