7 Secrets of Lasting Love

7 Secrets of Lasting Love

BEST FRIENDS AND PASSIONATE LOVERS AFTER 20, 40, EVEN 80-PLUS YEARS? COUPLES WITH SERIOUS STAYING POWER SHARE HOW THEY DO IT.

by Niema Jordan, January 02, 2013

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7 Secrets of Lasting Love

list. “When I look at my husband, I see my king,” says Angela. “We do our best to keep each other happy.”

6. Stay joined at the pockets.
“Finances push people to the brink of divorce; we’ve seen it over and over again,” says Angela. To stay on the same page, discussions about goals, savings, expenses and investments are a must. Separate bank accounts may be a relationship red flag. “There is no ‘mine’ and ‘yours.’ It’s ‘ours.’ We’ve become one,” says Angela. Each spouse draws a set “allowance” from their joint account for discretionary spending—and not a penny more; other funds are allocated for fixed expenses. “That helps us prevent overdrafts [and] surprises,” Angela says. She also stresses that the person who will be the main money manager should be chosen on the basis of aptitude, not on gender roles.

7. Agree to Disagree.
The Davises make a point not to sweat the small things, such as Adrian not picking up his socks or Dana not taking out the garbage. And when bigger disagreements, such as whether they are in the position to buy new rental property occur, they believe in listening to each other, respecting each other and continuing to have each other’s back. “We’re not going to see eye-to-eye on everything,” says Dana. “Her opinion matters to me,” says Adrian. “I don’t let a disagreement taint the way I feel about my wife.”
 

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