african american couple

Dear B. Scott,

Firstly I'd like to say that I have been a fan for years. A fan ever since your YouTube video days :)

I'm writing this because I was in a relationship for a period of four years where, for two of those I cheated extensively on my boyfriend. I cheated because I was unhappy, because he was terribly insecure. I cheated because I felt empowered and it was easy. I cheated because it was an addiction. That's not an excuse for my behavior but, I am ever the more remorseful. Do you have any advice for me during this period? Do you have any advice on how I should treat him? He told me that he hated me. Maybe I deserved that. Truth be told, he’s not the only one heartbroken.

 

Dear Love Muffin: 

 

Dealing with the end of a relationship is always heartbreaking, especially the end of a relationship where one person is directly responsible for it’s demise.

Regardless of why you cheated, the fact still remains that your actions are the primary reason why you both are so devastatingly heartbroken.

The only thing you can do is work on your own emotions and wait until the opportunity presents itself for you two to have whatever conversation you’re both prepared to have. I would also advise you to do some self-reflection and figure out exactly why it is you cheated in the first place, but from what you’ve told me it sounds like you’ve already begun that process.

Despite what he says, if you two were together for that long he doesn’t hate you — he just hates how you’ve made him feel. The heartbreak you both feel will ease over time.

We’re all human and we make mistakes. Sometimes we’re able to right our wrongs, and sometimes we aren’t.

As with all relationships, both good and bad, use this experience as an opportunity to grow and better understand yourself so that you don’t make these same mistakes in the future.

Love,

B.  Scott

 

Submit your questions now: bscott@ebony.com and be sure to tweet me @lovebscott with the hashtag #AskBScott