I met someone via an online dating website two months ago. After one conversation of 4 hours, he purchased a plane ticket to fly and see me two months later. During the two months, we spoke on the phone multiple times a day, Skyped on occasion (he even had me video chat with his mother), and somehow fell in love. It seemed we had known each other for years!
Well, the day came when we finally met. There was no "Catfish" drama or strange occurrences. But our communication was on the rocks. We could speak on the phone for hours… and now in person it seems awkward. All of our other chemistry is there and we speak so highly of each other when apart.
Is this something that can be fixed? Did we set too high of an expectation? 🙁
Dear Love Muffin,
It is quite possible you set too high of an expectation, but there’s no need to worry. It’s nothing a little effort can’t fix! What you’re experiencing is that the fantasy you’ve created of him in your mind is slowly being replaced by the reality of who he is.
Being in someone’s presence is vastly different from speaking via phone or over the internet. When face-to-face with someone you might not realize how much of the communication is nonverbal and has to do with vibes or energy.
You’ve already proven that you two can talk to each other and have meaningful conversations, so instead of focusing on re-creating that part of your relationship in person — use these initial encounters to see how well you two vibe during activities and in social settings.
After all, that’s just as important when it comes to finding a soulmate.
Go out and just ‘be’ around each other. Get a feel for how he handles situations, the way he eats his food, what it’s like watching a movie with him, how he acts around the house etc. Take the focus off of the in-person conversation until you both get over that initial awkwardness and regain that same level of comfort you have over the phone.
Once you do that, things should start to flow better and hopefully lead right into a lasting relationship.
Submit your questions now: firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to tweet me @lovebscott with the hashtag #AskBScott