[COLUMN] Lover's Rocque:<br />
Enjoying the Peach and the Pit

Making marriage work!

This past weekend we hit a landmark in our marriage. Not only did we return home from our delayed honeymoon, but we celebrated our six-month anniversary. It's often said that the first year of marriage is the hardest and as we reached the midway point, we decided to reflect on the journey thus far to see what has been 'the peach' and 'the pit' for us both. It's a healthy exercise that many couples—married or otherwise—should explore. Without further ado, here's the good and the bad of The Lovers Rocque's first six months of marriage.

The Peach

We talked about what some of the highlights of our marriage have been thus far and we’re on the same page. One of the major things we pointed out was falling deeper in love but that’s be cause we’ve been through some major bonding experiences that can really test what the tone of a marriage will be, like our honeymoon, which wasn’t the typical 'lounge around on the beach' vacation. We trekked through various cities in Japan, where we didn’t know the language and really just had to lean on each other every day, all day, for two weeks. But the biggest high has been unexpectedly moving to a new city and really enjoying it. We were born and bred in New York City, and work in journalism, so moving wasn’t really a thought for either of us, but when the opportunity came along, so did the major life change. We discovered that we really like our new city when we returned to NYC and kept comparing what we had in New York versus our new digs. Despite neither of us having any roots in our new hometown, living here has been a major peach because it has been an unexpected surprise.

The Pit

Nobody's perfect and neither is any marriage. We’ve talked about the individual personality quirks that we want to improve for the sake of our sanity and our union. I mentioned in my honeymoon post that I can get really snippy when I’m under pressure or feel alone when I need support, and I also get angry easily—usually this happens whenever common sense or common courtesy isn’t being shown (this pertains to anyone, not just the Mr.), much to the hubby’s chagrin. Where he’s diplomatic all the time I lose it, because I believe that some people’s disrespect and inconsideration needs to get checked (like with the case of wack customer service, for example), but I digress. I can work on being better about going off on people. Speaking of hubby being diplomatic, I love that about him but sometimes I think it’s also to a fault. He’s not a pushover but there are moments where people get away with pushing his limits too far for my liking. 

Lessons

We’re a good team so far. There are moments when we’re not on the same page, but we communicate well, so small things never turn into major issues and we can talk to each other without erupting into a raucous argument. Thus, it’s never hard to get back on one accord. In general, marriage is hard work but if you’re willing to put in the effort then life with your significant other will be amazing. We still have a lot of work to put in, so that we can get to the 10 and 20 year marks like the married couples we believe are truly experts on love and relationships. But at the moment, we wouldn’t trade each other for the world.

Mr. and Mrs. Rocque are the couple formerly known as Anslem Samuel and Starrene Rhett, New York-based journalists who found love in between bylines. Follow the newlyweds’ musings of a marriage in progress here, on Twitter and via their joint blog.