[THE LOVERS ROCQUE] The Lovers Rocque: Sometimes Love Breeds Spite for Sport

It’s obvious that sometimes the people you love the most also annoy you the most. This is something that we covered here. But I’d be remiss if in the spirit of being candid about what I’ve been learning about matrimony thus far, I didn’t talk about another dark side—sadism.

Mr. Rocque and I sometimes like to harass each other for sport. Admittedly, I’m more of an offender than he is. I realized this a couple of weeks ago when I was trying to wake him up. There was no real reason for me to wake him up. After all, it was one in the morning on a weeknight. However, watching him swat at me and squirm as I poked, prodded and scratched him with my toenails was amusing. In retrospect, this isn’t the first time I'd done this to him. I like harassing him when he’s asleep because he’s a heavy sleeper, so I sometimes make a game of it to see if I can rile him up.

Another reason I like to harass Mr. Rocque is because I’m jealous of him. He has an easy time falling asleep and staying asleep. I’m a night owl, occasionally an insomniac. Most of the time I lie awake for at least an hour before I can go to sleep; I never sleep through the whole night. I’m a light sleeper and I always wake up and toss and turn several times throughout my attempted slumber. So, sometimes I feel like if I can’t sleep, then he can’t. Plus, like I said, the harassment born out of my hate is fun. So there.

Mr. Rocque isn’t completely innocent either, though. I have an irrational dislike for an inanimate object that shall remain nameless. My aversion to this particular item is silly, and when the few people who know about it find out, there are some who think it’s funny to torture me with it. With regard to the hubby, two incidents come to mind. Once, he and I were walking down the street and he positioned himself in a way that he could push me so that I’d step on said object (I’m being vague on purpose, because I don’t want anyone guessing about this object’s identity). The freak out that followed provided him with a glee that I’ve never ever seen inspired by mischief. Then there was the time when he randomly tossed said object into my lap and laughed as I went off. This never ends. Just the other night I attempted to pop a pimple on hubby’s temple and chortled when he winced. 

Again, sometimes harassing a lover is fun—just don’t make it too much of a habit, because there’s a fine line between casual sadism and abuse. And this concludes today’s episode of “Revelations From the Other Side of the Broom.” Now go, harass and be merry.


Mr. and Mrs. Rocque are the couple formerly known as Anslem Samuel and Starrene Rhett, New York-based journalists who found love in between bylines. Follow the newlyweds’ musings of a marriage in progress here, on Twitter and via their joint blog.