DEAR SIL LAI:<br />
'He Loved Me and Left Me'

when a person shows you who they are, believe them…the FIRST time.

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fire. 

Finally, as for you telling her the truth, you had an opportunity to tell the truth when she called but chose not to do it. I agree that sisters need to look out for each other, but let’s be honest:  calling her back would really just be a way for you to punish him under the guise of enlightening her.  She told you point blank that she is going to do whatever she can to save this relationship. Trust me, this woman knows who she’s with and you calling and telling her that you slept with her man won’t help. From personal experience I can say that 95% of the time we know in our gut when our mate is cheating. But our ego and attachment to a specific outcome for the relationship is more important than accepting the truth and working from there  

The best thing for you to do is to let it go. Use this time to heal yourself and get to the root of why you would get involved with a man of less than noble character. And instead of making a point to tell her the truth, focus on how you can be more honest with yourself. 

Sil Lai Abrams is EBONY.com’s Relationship Expert and the author of No More Drama: 9 Simple Steps to Transforming a Breakdown into a Breakthrough and a board member of the National Domestic Violence Hotline.  Follow her on Twitter: @sil_lai and connect with her on Facebook. Want Sil Lai's advice? Email SilLai@ebony.com to have your love questions answered in a future column!