Sexual expression still remains taboo in certain industries. But when it comes to pop culture, it seems that entertainers from actors to singers have embraced sexuality unapologetically. Within this year alone, we have seen Beyoncé spearhead a sexual revolution, turning women into surfboarding sex kittens eager to spice things up in the bedroom by taking it to the bathroom. We’ve even witnessed the private sexcapades of Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta star Mimi Faust and Nikko Smith inspiring women to flex their upper body strength and use shower rods as sexual aids.
Pop culture has always had an influence on our everyday lives, and our sex lives are no exception. Here are three ways entertainment influences our intimate moments.
Provides positive empowerment for sexual expression
Throughout history, women have been forced into sexual repression and taught to keep their sexuality hidden. But with women like Beyoncé and Rihanna boldly expressing their sexuality through their music in healthy and positive ways, more women have been influenced to embrace their sexuality openly.
Bey’s new album is filled with feminist messages with tones of self-love and sexual acceptance that help generate a feeling of empowerment in any woman that listens to her music. Pop culture has provided women of all ages who may be seeking to understand themselves sexually a positive form of encouragement to live within their sexual truth, thus increasing confidence in their personal sexual skills in the bedroom.
Pop culture can serve as a source of inspiration
No one is born with the natural ability to be the best lover of all time; we all have to dedicate ourselves to learning how to perform at our best sexually. Pop culture can lend a helping hand, giving us examples of how to bring variety and excitement into sex lives that could otherwise become mundane.
Twista taught us all about how to “Make a Movie” to capture our wildest sexual moments on film. Usher gave us all a lesson in exhibitionism (sex in public places) with his single “Love in This Club.”
Countless songs make reference to being so overtaken by the “horny toad” that one has to pull over and make love in the back seat of the car just for the thrill of it. Whether listening to music, watching movies or paying attention to reality TV stars who lay out the list of their sexual escapades, pop culture provides a plethora of examples for those interested in trying something new. And when executed correctly, these techniques can help to deepen a bond between lovers.
Pop culture can sometimes be misleading when it comes to sex
Hollywood is known for its dramatization of real life events, and when it comes to sex, things are no different. Pop culture has the ability to make anything seem more glamorous than what it is in real life. Every sex scene seems perfect: both partners’ bodies are beautiful and in shape; both partners are always hot and ready to go with no issues; the female partner reaches an orgasm in every sex scene; and both partners are able to perform acrobatic sex moves with ease. But in real life, sex isn’t so glamorous.
It takes 10 to 15 minutes for women to be truly ready for penetration. The average woman doesn’t experience an orgasm through vaginal sex alone. Everyone isn’t in personal-trainer shape, and the average couple typically reverts to the “basic threes” of sex positions (missionary, cowgirl, doggystyle).
When the clip of Mimi Faust’s sex tape hit the Internet, it quickly became a trending topic because of the scene (infamous by now) where she uses the shower rod of her bathtub to hold herself up while having sex. This inspired quite a few couples to head to Home Depot to buy industrial strength shower rods for their bathrooms for trying out this new move.
Scenes like these and other overly dramatized sex scenes in pop culture and pornography can be misleading to the average viewer. Adult entertainer Imani Rose shared her concerns with me about people’s willingness to act out what they see on the web or in popular films based on her personal experiences on adult film sets.
“We prepare for the scenes that we perform in advance,” says Rose. “The sex seen in commercial and adult films doesn’t directly line up with real life sex, and that is where things can become unsafe. Pornography and other pop culture references are good for use as inspiration. But it should be understood that these forms of sexual display are still forms of entertainment and should not be taken 100% literal.”
Imani Rose suggests that couples use sources of sexual references that are more educational in their approach to learn how to properly and safely perform sexual acts that may be a bit more daring.
Pop culture definitely has helped to shape the sexuality of many, but the main point to remember through it all is to remain true to what feels right within you, and to always use a little caution when experimenting with new techniques in the bedroom. You may not be able to twerk like Nicki Minaj or surfboard like Beyoncé, but you do have an inner sex goddess waiting to be awakened that simply needs a spark of inspiration and encouragement.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.glamerotica101.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.