Is Chivalry Dead or Just Changing Lanes?

Is Chivalry Dead or Just Changing Lanes?

Bonsu Thompson says chivalry is here to long as women are willing to join in

by Bonsu Thompson, March 11, 2012

Is Chivalry Dead or Just Changing Lanes?

If some almighty 'love doctor' has declared chivalry dead, then the burial occurred at the tail of the twentieth century. The term sprouted in medieval times, conceived to define the decorum of Knighthood); no wonder both the word and the concept seem archaic today. Chivalry has, of course, long since evolved to note the “ladies first” deeds of more the contemporary gentleman. Unfortunately in the haughts (aka the first decade of the new century), the “C” word is rarely seen or heard in continuum.

Forty years ago, the Reverend Al Green paid his lady’s face so much attention that he could see their future in her eyes. In 2012 the sole reason Young Jeezy links with his “Supa Freak” is to “smoke and f*ck.” Now relegated to groundhog status, chivalry only blooms love foliage on the 14th of February. Maybe the good doctor didn’t sign that death certificate after all. Maybe the gentleman’s code is merely endangered. Whether the prognosis calls for resuscitation or restoration, the labor of both genders are needed. That’s right sisters, I'm talking about "reverse chivalry." 

Warning: this is only for the highly evolved female; the one as secure in her femininity as she is on the road to success. It’s not for the chick still searching for an alpha meal ticket or whose happiness is contingent on a “two-table” wedding ring. No, the women who have mastered this new age phenomenon have done so by adopting the prime principle of its roots: reciprocity. Their happiness is not merely gained but returned after initially creating their man’s (and vice versa). Brothers, I'm talking about the woman who asks out to your favorite 4 star, dials for reservations and then snatches the bill. Just closed that new account? Don’t be surprised if she has an XO bottle of your favorite cognac delivered to your desk.

Bad news first: while this new breed of beauty soars at a higher altitude than her counterparts, she is very much the minority. You can (and should) guide your women to this standard but be aware that you’ll possibly decrease your volume and increase your disappointment. Good news: their population numbers are crawling north. To prove reverse chivalry is not a myth or only exercised by "Black Panthers" (African-American cougars), I found four successful Black men to share their best encounter with a few highly skilled practitioners. 

Name: Damien Lemon. Age: 34. Occupation: Comedian

A few years back, I was seeing a woman who worked in publishing. She put together a birthday date for me and all I had to do was show up. We started with dinner at a magnificent Chinese restaurant in Chinatown (Chinese food is my thing, don't judge). After dinner we hit Manhattan's Iridium Jazz club for drinks and to hear the Ravi Coltrane Quartet play. The vibe was real sexy, but in a ‘90's era black film sort of way (think Boomerang or Strictly Business). After the set, it was damn near 1am, and we still weren't done with the night; she took me to an after-hours spa, where we hit the sauna, steam room and a pool with fruit in it. In retrospect, that may not have been the most sanitary look. Overall the date was dope, and I'm still with her today.

Name: Guy Routte. Age: 40. Occupation: CEO of W.A.R Media. LLC

I had an ex girlfriend who, during a great time in our interaction, decided that she wanted to do something nice for me just because. I’m pretty unorganized and messy--not dirty, but things are usually out of order. She had the keys to my apartment, so she went there while I was out, organized my place, then proceeded to cook dinner. When I arrived the place was clean and the lights were low with lit candles all over.  She ran a bath for me and handed me a glass of red wine. While I relaxed in the bath she made an incredible dinner. As I emerged from the bath, I was greeted by an appetizer of shrimp dumplings with mango chutney. Dinner was served with a goat cheese, beet and walnut salad, followed by a pasta dish with garlic and olive oil.  Homemade brownies with ice cream was the dessert.  Great music in the background (a mix of Marvin Gaye, A Tribe Called Quest and everything in between) and we had a wonderful conversation about politics and art and dreams and fears.  This was the closest I’d felt to her up to that point in our relationship. It felt like she really listened and cared about what I liked to do and how I liked to enjoy an evening.  

Name: Ernest Estime. Age: 24. Occupation: Photographer

So before my girl became “my girl,” she surprised me with a date to see the legendary Stevie Wonder at The Apollo Theater last year. Anybody that knows me well knows how much of a

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