Kirk Franklin’s wife Tammy is very straightforward when it comes to what makes her 21-year marriage work.

Her advice is simple: be your husband’s girlfriend.

On Monday, Tammy took to Instagram and posted the secret to her lasting marriage.

“I love being his wife but I’m also very intentional about staying his girlfriend! I knew he wouldn’t mind me wearing the flat sandals that I thought about wearing, but I chose to wear the wedges that I know he loves,” Tammy wrote. “I pay attention to what makes him smile😉! I share this not because I’ve always done it perfect but I grew to learn the balance. Although sometimes he gets my bonnet lol, he should also get his Boo! #keepdating #21years #kirkandtammy #swipeleft⬅️”

Of course, Tammy also attributes prayer and therapy as major factors in her successful union.

“We’ve done counseling; it has saved our marriage,” Tammy said in an interview with Get Up! Mornings With Erica Campbell. “We pray together and I’m not only his wife, but I’m his girlfriend.”