[COLUMN]The Lovers Rocque:<br />
Three Ways Marriage Changed Him

There’s a running joke in pop culture that marriage changes people, but it’s usually insinuated in a negative way. I’ve only been married for a little over two months, so of course, I have a lot more to experience in my life as a wife, however, I have noticed changes in my husband… that I really like. Here are three things that changed about my hubby once he said, “I do.”

He’s More Protective

Hubby showed subtle signs of being protective when we were in the dating phase, like putting a drunken lecher in his place one late night on the train or texting me to inquire about my whereabouts after hours on occasion, but now that we're a family unit he has kicked it up a few notches. As his wife, I’ve become more of a commodity because, at this point, it’s harder to sever ties, as he often says to me, "My wife, my life." Now, I’m being urged to go to the doctor a little more if I feel that my allergies or asthma are out of control and I’m noticing more text messages that read, “Where are you?” when I’m out, or inquiring when I’ll be home. His new behavior isn’t overbearing and it doesn’t mean he didn’t care about me before and no, I’m not property, but when you’re building a family you want to protect that interest.  

He’s More Affectionate 

Mr. Rocque was affectionate when he was just the boyfriend, but lately he’s a lot more touchy feely, grabby and kissy. This might be due to the fact that we’re still in the newlywed phase, but I hope not because it’s pretty cool! He was sometimes hard to read when we were just dating. Now, I have a better idea of what he’s thinking as he has let his guard down even more. I love the extra admiring stares that I get and the fact that I’m getting texts and phone calls in the middle of the day just to say, “I love you,” “I miss you” and “I just wanted to hear your voice.” It’s also sweet when he passes up events, hanging out with friends or meetings just so that he can be with me.

He’s More Generous

When hubby and I were courting, he practiced old-fashioned chivalry by paying for a lot of our dinner dates. Aside from that I got gifts for birthdays or Christmas that weren’t extravagant but always thoughtful, sweet and relevant to me, and that was all I saw of his cash flow. His money was his and it wasn’t up for discussion. One year during our dating days, my laptop broke and I purchased a new one on my own. I didn’t expect him to help me with the cost because it was my responsibility as a technically single woman. But one thing I love about him is that if I needed financial help at the time, he would have been willing to chip in (if I asked) but I would have had to pay him back. Fast-forward to last month when my laptop conked out again: Hubby immediately offered to buy me a new one. As a freelancer, my laptop is my livelihood and not having one would be like trying to run a marathon on a newly broken leg—pointless. Still, that was a lot of money to come out of his pockets (take a minute to browse Apple.com for MacBook Pro prices and you’ll get the idea). When I asked if he was sure he wanted to spend what I needed for a new laptop he said, “If you’re not okay, then I’m not okay and without a laptop you can’t be productive. That would be wack.” That moment was actually the inspiration for this post. I’m grateful that marriage has brought out this recent emotive behavior in my husband and I look forward to seeing more of his loving ways develop as we continue building our family structure.

How have you or your partner changed once making a commitment to each other? Have you ever seen that change be for the worse? If so, how did you adjust? Sound off!

Mr. and Mrs. Rocque are the couple formerly known as Anslem Samuel and Starrene Rhett, New York-based journalists who found love in between bylines. Follow the newlyweds’ musings of a marriage in progress here, on Twitter and via their joint blog.