I often find it hilarious that as much as us men are dragged for possessing a simplistic and unsophisticated understanding of women, many women themselves are guilty of doing the exact same thing when it comes to evaluating certain aspects of manhood. In fact, I’d argue that women’s own lack of discernment becomes glaringly obvious when it comes to discussions on what encompasses male physical attraction.
As far as most women are concerned, we only give a damn about a cute face, a fat round booty, and big breastesses.
But when it comes to physical attraction, a woman’s personality plays a far bigger role in how we men actually perceive her level of beauty, and quiet as kept, vice versa.
Five years ago, while sitting in a quiet lounge on a first date, the woman I was seeing asked me to provide her with an example of the kind of woman I could see myself in a relationship with. Without pause, I said Issa Rae. She kinda paused and looked at me funny and slightly puzzled, wanting an in-depth answer, one that I didn’t really have for her. It felt as if she wanted some Eric Jerome Dickey explanation of the curvature of Issa’s hips. In my eyes she was a beautiful, brown-skinned, full-lipped, hilarious, inappropriate, jerk-faced goddess (basically everything I could personally ask for in a woman). This is not to say that her personality assisted her looks as if she’d be physically deficient without her character and sense of humor, but rather to say that her character and beauty are intrinsically fused together, which composes her fineness.
Now, years later and glo’d up it may be more apparent, but that allure was always there.
Fast forward to today. It’s interesting how I find myself wrapped in that same conversation about another stunning, melanin-rich, talented, and uproariously funny actress, Michaela Coel. Last week I saw her post a picture on Instagram displaying her baddie features (which I hope y’all already knew existed), but it was actually her caption that cemented how gorgeous she is.
Me, trying to look like a kind, stable, well-behaved, sane, non-threatening, intelligent but not too intelligent, unintentionally sexy woman, with a 1mm wide vagina, pink nipples, a low body count, and zero experience in blow jobs, but yet somehow exuding the promise of being greatly skilled at them. Taken 0.45 seconds before I burst out laughing at the above thoughts.
A post shared by Michaela Coel (@michaelacoel) on
The fact that she thinks random BS—like I do—and is confident enough to share her self-depreciating humor with her friends and fans makes her natural beauty coalesce into an undeniable allure. The glow of her own bliss radiates through her skin and her smile. From her neck to her collarbone, right to her eyes and her cheekbones, she exudes pure regality as inappropriate and hilarious jokes run through her mind.
That’s utter perfection.
For some reason, a lot of people tend to believe that instantaneous evaluations of strangers are by far the most honest judgments of one’s beauty, but I think that’s mostly garbage. To be honest, I think when most men make instant judgments of women we happen to come across, we inherently assert a positive persona in her—in our minds—to complete our judgement of her physical beauty. We just assume that behind her pleasing facade, lays an accompanying inner beauty that’s compatible with our taste, our standards and our values. Personality does comprise our view of beauty, whether many of us realize it or not.
Hopefully, going forward in this Insta-Snap generation, we can actually try to give the male conceptualization of beauty a little more nuance than it typically receives.