[THE LOVERS ROCQUE] The Lovers Rocque: Confessions of an Angry Black Woman

Is my behavior petty?

I’m laid back most of the time, but I can be a hothead too. Usually when I have moments it’s when people do rude things, which is often. A good example? One time Mr. Rocque and I were flying back to Chicago from visiting our old hometown and not only was our flight delayed, the time also kept getting pushed back every few minutes. Information ranged from nonexistent to all over the place and they kept changing gates but not announcing the shift. I was obviously annoyed.

We decided to go to an information desk and approached just as two women were having a conversation about how they hated their job and didn’t like dealing with some of the customers they came across. One: It’s unprofessional to be at work, no matter where you work, speaking about how you don’t like the place and its customers. Two: That’s not my problem. Three: Get a new job that you like. Four: Again, the fact that you hate your job is not my problem. You get the idea.

So, we approached as this ratchet conversation was taking place and they continued talking as if we weren’t there. One woman left, and the other didn’t even acknowledge us. Instead, she looked down and started working on something else. Hubby is always patient and diplomatic, sometimes to a fault. I am oft amazed at how far his limits can be pushed when it comes to dealing with rude behavior. I waited five more seconds and still got no acknowledgment for my simple question so, I blurted, “Is this where we can find out information about flight X?!”

As you can imagine, there was bass in my voice. Mr. Rocque gave me the side eye for being rude when this stank degenerate was the one who set the tone for our conversation by ignoring us. She replied, with attitude, that she wasn’t the one we were supposed to speak to and finally told us where we could go. So, I replied with attitude, “Thank you!! That’s all we needed to know!!” and huffed off. What could have been a 10-second exchange took five minutes to accomplish because she wanted to lament her job while on the job.

When we got to our gate, Mr. Rocque told me he just decided to be patient. I understand, you attract more bees with honey or however that cliché goes, but I believe patience should be reserved for people who respect you. But I digress. I’ve learned to calm down a little the older I get, but sometimes people shouldn’t be given passes for certain violations.

Is my behavior petty? Absolutely. But again, sometimes people need to be taught a lesson for being rude.

A few nights ago we were out for a friend’s birthday, and at the end of the night, we hailed a cab that clearly stopped for us. But, another couple cut us off before we were close enough to the taxi. So, I shouted, “Nah! Nope! Don’t do it!!” and the woman just froze and stared at me—as did Mr. Rocque and our friends who were seeing us off, probably because they were mortified—but her boyfriend gave me a defiant look and got in the car anyway. They were at a better physical advantage so they took advantage, but to blatantly steal someone’s cab deserves a butt whooping. Had I been closer, I would have yanked him away from the car. Maybe it was divine intervention, but I’ve done stuff like this in the past.

Is my behavior petty? Absolutely. But again, sometimes people need to be taught a lesson for being rude, which, essentially, is a violation. After that exchange things got tense between Mr. Rocque and I, probably because he was annoyed that I had what we’ve come to regard as one of my episodes. My friends suggested that we walk to a nearby hotel and catch a cab, which we did. The night ended well (for the most part), but not before the birthday boy told me to stop being so angry, something I always hear from Mr. Rocque.

I didn’t listen. I was angry about the incident for the whole night and part of the following day, just because the couple got away with it, and I was angry with Mr. Rocque for being “too diplomatic.” It’s silly, and just so we’re clear, I don’t think I’m invincible; I do understand that we should pick and choose our battles, which brings me to my point. After thinking about the incident and the fact that I was mad about it well into the following day (which is ridiculous), I realized that maybe I could be a little less stubborn and follow Mr. Rocque’s lead by learning to not sweat the small stuff.

Mr. and Mrs. Rocque are the couple formerly known as Anslem Samuel and Starrene Rhett, New York-based journalists who found love in between bylines. Follow the newlyweds’ musings of