[COLUMN] The Lovers Rocque:<br />
"I Wouldn't Have Married Her if She Was Pregnant"

After weeks of denying rumors, Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi finally admitted that she was pregnant. Given the diminutive diva's penchant for drunken "smushing," I can't say that I was all that surprised—I mean, it was bound to happen sooner or later, right? What did surprise me, though, was the 24-year-old announcing that she was also engaged. While the idea of Snooki as a mother is scary, what scares me even more is her as a wife. More specifically, the idea of her getting married simply because she's in a "family way."        

If you've ever seen the Jersey Shore you know that Snooki's relationship with her off-again, on-again boyfriend-turned-fiancé, Jionni, has been rocky to say the least. He constantly yells at her for her on-camera antics, leaves her stranded in the club when she pisses him off and constantly criticizes her for embarrassing him in public. Definitely not qualities most women would want in a potential husband or co-parent.  While I commend Jionni for attempting to "do the right thing" by proposing to the mother of his child, this is not a Spike Lee movie.    

Marriage is not something that should be rushed into because you think you're supposed to. If Jionni wasn't considering marriage before Snooki passed (or is it failed?) her pregnancy test, it shouldn't be on his agenda now. It may have sounded like the honorable thing to do in the old country (as well as a good way to save money during tax time) but a baby shouldn't be the  deciding factor in something as serious as marriage.

I'll admit that I'm making a lot of assumptions about the dynamics of Snooki and Jionni's relationship but all I have to go on is what I see on TV. I know a lot of that is skewed for ratings but if even half of it is true it's debatable whether they should even be in the same room together let alone a marriage. Sadly, this is the reality for some.  

When my wife and I went down to the courthouse to get our marriage license I noticed at least two couples where the bride-to-be was in a family way. While I can only assume the order of their proposal and pregnancy, I couldn't help but wonder if the baby was the reason why they were there. In particular the younger couple, where the pair looked to be in their early 20s and the woman was about five months pregnant. Looking back on my life, I couldn't imagine being a father or husband at that age. I probably would have sucked at both, and if I wasn't in love with my wife today I would probably still suck at both jobs.

I would never want my son or daughter to feel that they were a "mistake" and that their conception was the only reason mommy and daddy got married.

That's when I turned to my fiancée and told her, "You know I wouldn't have married you if you were pregnant, right?" I didn't say that to be mean or unromantic, it's just that I would never want there to ever be any doubt in my mind or her's as to why we were getting married. If it were because of a baby and not our love for each other, then our marriage would be built on a lie. I would never want my son or daughter to feel that they were a "mistake" and that their conception was the only reason mommy and daddy got married. That's not to say that you can't grow to love someone that’s having your baby but you're supposed to do that before you say, "I do," and ideally before kids come into the picture.

Maybe that's just me. I know back in the day there were plenty of guys who did the "right thing" by putting a ring on it and formed a family that actually worked. But a shotgun wedding isn't how I want to start my happily ever after. I'd much rather be a good father to a love child as a single man then a bad husband to a woman I felt I had to marry just because she was pregnant. In the long run that'd be a disservice to the wife and child.  

At the end of the day, I'm most concerned about Snooki and Jionni's unborn child. Neither of them seems ready for parenthood or marriage, and at 24 years old they really shouldn't. There's very little they can do about their impending bundle of joy now, but getting married is the one thing they still have control over. I pray that their love is true and they can raise their child together as husband and wife without becoming another divorce statistic, but my gut says good intentions aren't enough to start a solid marriage.

There, however, are exceptions to every rule and maybe this pregnancy and marriage are the wake up calls they both need. Regardless of whether or not they make it down the aisle (or just make it in general), Snooki and Jionni are bonded