[THE LOVERS ROCQUE] Relationship Spring Cleaning

Get the elbow grease out for your relationship spring cleaning!

After brainstorming with Mr. Rocque about what this week’s post would be about, we decided to go with Spring Cleaning… but with a relationship twist. It’s always good to chat with your partner about where you’ve been and where you’re headed, so here are some things we thought about in terms of what we could do better. So far we’re in a really good space, but there’s always room for improvement.

1. I still pop pimples. You can read about that harassment here, but let’s just say it’s a problem that I haven’t gotten better at resolving. I still terrorize Mr. Rocque by attempting to pop pimples every chance I get (because he gets the best ones). I know it’s gross (judge me, shrug), but it’s fun. It still drives him insane, but I can’t promise that I’ll ever stop. I’ll try to cut down, though. Story developing…

2. Mr. Rocque still beatboxes (read same harassment story) but has gotten much better. Mr. Rocque says he beatboxes as a way to handle stress, but then he also beatboxes when he’s in a good mood. Either way, it drives me batty. This is definitely a habit that didn’t happen until after we started dating. He got comfortable and unleashing the beats. But when I mentioned how annoying it was he made a conscious effort not to do it so much, and we’ve seen a lot of improvement. So I guess if he can do that for me, then I can work on the zit-zapping thing.

3. I’m in therapy, which I wrote about last week. It’s helping, and Mr. Rocque, after sitting in on a session with me, is considering therapy as well. He’s not as emotionally jacked up as I am (that was a joke, kind of), but again, talking to a therapist can help everyone, even people who have stigmas about going to therapy and don’t think they need it. It’s a relief and it’s rooted in solution.

4. We definitely keep each other motivated to stay fit. My influence on Mr. Rocque has been helpful in terms of what he eats. He’s still devastated that American “cheese” isn’t really cheese. (I’m no expert, so take that how you want. But do your research; it’s written right on the package). I’ve also gotten him into drinking more water (maybe one day I’ll blog about the ER dehydration scandal) and eating more whole, fresh foods. Just the other day he had an upset stomach and decided to physically fold himself up in a position that wouldn’t help, so I instructed him in a yoga move to ease his pain and it worked.

It’s always good to chat with your partner about where you’ve been and where you’re headed.

He’s usually pretty stubborn about stuff like this, but I’m glad he trusts me enough to take my advice. However, despite the fact that I know some things about physical wellness, I still struggle with sugar cravings. It doesn’t help when Mr. Rocque comes waltzing in from work with a tub of ice cream. I’ve instructed him to keep me in check; not like I’m a little kid, but in a way where there’s balance and we both benefit. If we over-indulged yesterday, then today should be more well-rounded. If we don’t keep processed snacks around the house, then we can’t eat them. So we just remind each other what our respective fitness goals are. Now if only I can get him to start snacking healthy throughout the day, then I’ve moved a mountain. The other next step is taking a fitness class together.

5. We’re starting to settle into our financial roles better than we have before, but we still neglect our joint bank account. We do put money into it, but sometimes we forget to monitor it because it’s easier to just do things from our respective accounts. But we did come to the agreement that Mr. Rocque handles the heavy bills and the joint account handles the lighter stuff (like groceries, utilities and cable). There are still moments where he’ll just take care of it from his own account or vice versa, and we forget to be vigilant about keeping the joint account at a healthy balance until we get an alert. That’s a work in progress but we’ll get it together. 

What do want to improve when it comes to your relationship? Sound off!

Mr. and Mrs. Rocque are the couple formerly known as Anslem Samuel and Starrene Rhett, Chicago-based journalists who found love in between bylines. Follow the newlyweds’ musings of a marriage in progress here, on Twitter and via their joint blog.