âSex âToo Soon?â No Such Thing!â<br />

As much as I may disagree with certain dating and relationship "rules"---and as much as some of these rules have been proven to not just be occasionally untrue, but completely off-target and borderline dangerous---I understand where many of them are coming from. 

For instance, while I disagree that a man needs to provide an extravagant experience on the first date in order to "prove" that he's interested, invested, and able to provide extravagant experiences if need be, I also get that this archaic "rule" is just an exaggeration of a concept I think is useful. If asking a woman on a date, I do feel that it's important to show that you are legitimately interested in getting to know her and having a good time. But, where the rule breaks down is when it equates "interest/effort" to "money"---discounting the fact that you can be creative without breaking your bank. Basically, the reason why Applebee's or Friday's on a first date may get scoffed at isn't because of how (relatively) cheap the menu is but because going there didn't show much effort. 

This concept of a wrong "rule" with right intentions also applies to the idea that there should be a 60 day or 90 day or 182 day waiting period before a woman "allows" a man to have sex with her. This rule's right intentions spring from the idea that it's probably not the smartest or safest decision (for women and men) to immediately sleep with every single person who expresses interest in them. Also, in theory, waiting may help to weed out those who are just interested in sex in nothing else.

But, the rule is faulty on many levels, beginning with the idea that sex is something a woman "gives" a man, and that a man's reward for being "good" is a woman's body. This way of thinking ignores the fact that sex is a shared and reciprocal activity---both women and men are giving themselves to each other---and it promotes the idea that sex is something men should feel entitled to. I mean, if the 90 days have passed and he opened every door, paid for every check, and answered every text, that ass belongs to him now, right? Um, wrong, but having arbitrary rules about when a woman should sleep with someone cultivates that thought. 

Also, there's the idea that men won't like/respect a woman who sleeps with them early as much as one who makes them wait. Again, I do get where this idea comes from. And, again I do agree that, if you're interested in being in a healthy relationship, it's probably not the best idea to say "Wanna come over later?" to every single man who says "Hi." But, while I can't speak for every single man who's currently dating, I will say that if a man is truly into a woman, when she decided to sleep with him probably isn't going to make any difference regarding how he feels about her. If he likes her, really likes her, it probably won't matter if she slept with him on the 5th day or the 75th day. And yes, I am aware that some men do lose interest in women they've slept with "too soon." But, these men were likely not all that interested in the first place, and "you slept with me too soon" is just a convenient and "socially acceptable" way to weed women out. 

With all this being said, there is one thing a woman definitely needs to consider before she decides to sleep with someone. One question that should always be answered, one thought that should never be ignored: 

"Am I ready to have sex with him?"