You Deserve the Best

Amy DuBois Barnett

by Amy DuBois Barnett, May 16, 2014


Somewhere inside all of us lies a self-saboteur trying to trip us up. Learn to deal with that demon, and you’ll be on your way to GET YOURS in every facet of your life.

This month, a reader questions negative patterns in her life.

Q: I met someone I thought was special, but it didn’t take long for me to see the signs that he was two-timing me, and we broke up. This always happens! Why can’t I find someone I can trust?

Spring is a time of renewal and growth, so it’s an opportune moment to recognize a problematic romantic pattern that you want to change. But are you sure your ex was cheating, or did self-sabotage show you “signs” that didn’t actually exist?

To a certain degree, everyone has an inner monster. Its job? To send out messages that mess with our self-worth. Maybe yours arrived the first time you really were involved with a disloyal man. Maybe it goes back further, to childhood. For some, the self-saboteur ruins relationships; for others, it wreaks havoc with careers; and sadly, there are people who let it get in the way of contentment across the board. Whatever the root, this self-saboteur is difficult to purge. Learn how to manage it.

Read more in the June 2014 issue of EBONY Magazine.

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