BREAKING NEWS-<br />
OBAMA: STILL NOT A MUSLIM<br />
(Also, Water is Wet)<br />
<br />

Xenophobia’s elder statesman is speaking out on a longstanding conspiracy that President Obama pledges allegiance to Allah. Newt Gingrich says when it comes to Obama’s Christian faith: “I take him at his word.”

However: "But I think it is very bizarre that he is desperately concerned to apologize to Muslim religious fanatics while they are killing young Americans, while at the same time going to war against the Catholic Church and against every right-to-life Protestant organization in the country. I just think it's a very strange value system.”

As president, isn’t it noble, responsible, and I guess rather Christian of the President to say to the Afghan people, “Sorry, one of our troops murdered 17 civilians?” Moreover, didn’t Obama already offer Catholic hospitals and charities an alternative with respect to offering a service that 99% of Catholic women already use?

In any event, though Gingrich says he takes Obama “at his word” about being a practicing Christian, he says the perception that some not-so-critical thinkers have that he’s a closeted Muslim is Obama’s own fault.

Newt explained to reporters: "It should bother the president. Why does the president behave the way that people would think that? You have to ask, why would they believe that? It's not because they're stupid."

Actually, anyone who believes President Obama is a Muslim after hearing both his word and reading his record is doing so because they choose to --- and that makes them an idiot. Forgo political correctness and free thyself from the shame of impoliteness to say things as they truly are: Many American voters are indeed ignorant to the politicians, policies, and government practices that directly affects their way of life.

‘Tis why God gave us the gift that is Forrest Gump and the quote “stupid is as stupid does.”

Remember a few years ago when a poll of FOX News viewers revealed that 72% believed Obama’s health care plan would provide coverage to illegal immigrants, 79% would lead to a government takeover, 69% would use taxpayer dollars to cover abortions, and 75% were convinced that the initiative would allow the federal government to pull the plug on their grannies?

Or the more recent poll about the deficit crisis, which showed that Americans had plenty to say on how to solve the problem but didn’t have a basic understanding of the nation’s fiscal situation. On that, David Walker, a former U.S. comptroller general and the founder of the Comeback America Initiative, told U.S. News: "Leaders are supposed to educate people as to the facts, truth, and help make tough choices.”

Obviously, the terms “leader” and “politician” are not interchangeable leaving those of Newt Gingrich’s ilk to fear monger and patronize to bigoted voting blocs within his party. As a result we get polls that show a high number of Republicans in the South either doesn’t believe or are unsure of Obama’s faith. Never mind that none of those should especially matter to people who live in two of the most impoverished states in the nation.

Sadly, this conspiracy, much like the one about Satan trying to control the world via Roc Nation artists will continue on even after Newt falls into political oblivion (anytime you’re ready, Newton). I honestly believe that President Obama could shoot a campaign ad with Jesus rocking an Obama/Biden 2012 tee and there would still be a bunch of bullheaded fools claiming “BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS A SCARY MUSLIM.”

Such is a sad reality, but don’t point your finger at him. Where should you? To quote the title of one of my favorite books, those honors go to Stupid White Men…and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation!

Guess which one I’m pointing at?

Michael Arceneaux is a Houston-bred, Howard-educated writer currently based in Los Angeles. You can read more of his work on his site, The Cynical Ones. Follow him on Twitter: @youngsinick