After calculating the results of a completely random, unscientific, social media poll, I have come to the conclusion that 76.21 percent of Black men do not like Scandal.
To the 23.79 percent of Black men imbued with discernment and the ability to parse creative, political and societal nuance, “Thank you.” And I’m counting down the days with you until next Thursday, which is hereby renamed Scandal.
That’s right: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Scandal, Friday and Saturday.
In all seriousness, I brushed aside the occasional acerbic comments that would come across my Facebook timeline and Twitter feed. The Sally Hemmings and Thomas Jefferson jokes that Black female Scandal watchers would nervously bat away, secretly wondering if their Black, male friends were laughing with them or at them didn’t even give me pause because I’ve long come to the conclusion that when it comes to inter-racial relationships, there are some Black men who hold themselves to a different, hypocritical standard.
While their brethren, and themselves, are free to pursue and fetishize about any Sue, Becky and Kimmy that crosses their path — because Black women are so demanding, fat, lazy, unsupportive [insert derogatory label here] — any sister who isn’t beating a drum in Leimert Park with dreads down her back or a TWA (Teeny-weeny afro), is a race traitor waiting to spread her legs for the massa.
Let them tell it.
I swiftly discard that exaggerated criticism because it is so obviously steeped in feelings of emasculation and instinctive powerlessness that it would take much longer than a sweep of social media to peel back all of the layers and address its core.
But these anti-Scandal Black men are a wily bunch. Oh yes, they are. They realized that they couldn’t continue to post pictures of Kim Kardashian on Monday, quote little Wayne talking about “bet that bitch look better red” on Tuesday, break down all the reasons why White women stay “#winning” on Wednesday, then complain about a Black woman being in love with a White man on Thursday.
So, what’s the new tactic? Slut-shaming.
Forget that President Fitzgerald Grant III is White, they proclaim all aflutter with their hands clasped to their heaving bosoms. It’s that he’s MARRIED!