Dear B. Scott,
My boyfriend is ‘Captain-Save-A-You-Know-What!' He volunteers his services to ‘damsels in distress’ ranging from female co-workers, to female friends that I haven't met and even an ex-girlfriend. I’ve already mentioned to him that it annoys me, but he just shrugs it off and says "that's just how I am". Should I let it go?
If you feel it in your spirit that something isn’t right, often times it’s not. I think in this situation you have to look at the bigger picture. If you’ve expressed to your boyfriend that his actions bother you and he’s done nothing in return to make you feel more secure, that’s a problem.
What that says to me is that he’s okay with making you uncomfortable. It certainly shows a lack of respect not only for you, but for the relationship.
If he’s telling you “That’s just how I am,” at some point you have no choice but to believe him. It’s up to you to decide if it’s something that you’re willing and prepared to deal with.
Now, 'dealing with it' doesn’t necessarily mean ignoring his behavior. It means continuing to express your concerns and dealing with whatever feelings of annoyance or jealousy that may arise. There’s nothing wrong with a little jealousy towards other women every now and then; it means you still care. However, it is his responsibility to make it clear to you—and to these 'homegirls'—that you are the number one lady in his life. That means introducing you to his friends and knowing when to tell them "I'll talk to you later, I'm having time with my woman."
But don’t let your jealousy destroy the trust you two have. Otherwise, my dear love muffin, next thing you know you’ll be checking his pockets, phone records, and smelling his dirty laundry for traces of a perfume that you know you don’t wear!
Double kisses! XOXO
