Before I hip Beyoncé to the second baby game, I need my second baby, my little Lila, to know this one true thing: she was wanted, made from love and the product of lots of plotting and planning and prayer—truly a gift from God.

That said: Bey, girl, get ready. First babies are sweet and sugary and all kinds of good good, but Sweet Baby Jesus In the Manger: second babies are no joke. I got pregnant with my Lila two years after my Mari was born, just days before September 11. Already exhausted with being a mom to a toddler, a wife in a relatively young marriage, a full-time working mom and an author and freelancer in the little bit of spare time that I had, moving with a baby in my belly was… difficult. Yes, that’s what I’ll call it: difficult. Even though I knew what to expect, so many things were different with Lila: whereas I was young and energetic during most of my first pregnancy, my second just made me feel worn out—stressed, tired, fat. Concerned, especially, how I was going to balance it all.

Nobody warned me. And all that free and unsolicited advice I got with the first pregnancy? Yeah, nobody could be bothered with my second.

And so if it is, indeed, true that you’re pregnant with your second (I have no access to your sonograms and Jay-Z allegedly denied a second Baby Carter is on the way, but rumors that Blue Ivy is about to be a big sister are at fever pitch, so roll with me for a MyBrownBaby minute) there are some things you’re going to have to get ready for if and when you do have a second baby. To know. No lie.

I got you girl.

Here, Top 20 Things I Want Beyoncé to Know About Becoming a Second-Time Mom:

Read it at MyBrownBaby!