One of the most common misconceptions about sex is that we’re all born with the natural ability to perform every sexual act perfectly. Many men believe that, because they have a penis, there’s a preprogrammed mental manual on how to use it to please women. Some women believe they have all the sexual knowledge necessary to have body shaking orgasms every time they enter into a sexual situation, just like the women in the adult films. On the contrary, my lovely sex enthusiasts—we are not all born with sexual skill.

Like almost every other skill we had to learn, we have to learn how to have better sex. Yet many don’t take the time to read or research new techniques and ways to improve their sexual skills. Sex isn’t a linear process of inserting object A into slot B for the purpose of procreation. Sexual activity is dynamic, sending the body into a range of changes and emotions that (hopefully) end in a climax of ecstasy. Sex is also an act that’s intimately fun and explorative, and this is where sexual aids come in.


When in doubt about how to please your partner, using sex furniture, restraints and vibrators could be a surefire way to bring some spice to the bedroom and ensure a great time. I know you may be thinking, “I don’t need any assistance in the bedroom; my body is all that I need.” But keeping a mind closed off from using products created specifically with your pleasure in mind is sticking to a linear sexual performance.

There are a plethora of products on the market created for the sexual novice and advanced alike—and of course they come with instructions to help spark the imagination on how to incorporate them into your sexual play. Expand your sexual technique and bring in one or all of the following aids into the bedroom. Trust: you’ll thank me later for opening your eyes to a varied definition of sexual performance.  

1) Try sex furniture and explore the angles

Typically, a bed is the furniture of choice when engaging in sex. But when it comes to ushering in the benefits of angled sex, the flat surface of a mattress just doesn’t do the trick. That’s where sex furniture comes into play.

The amazing creators of the Liberator are in the business of creating sex pillows, chaises, loungers, wedges, swings, even entire rotating beds (!) to help encourage angled sex. Using these props allows for entry to hit places within the vagina at angles that can stimulate the G-spot and encourage orgasms for both partners. Not ready to make a huge purchase? Start off small by buying a foam wedge or a pillow that can be used right in your bed. Visit to view their full collection of pillows, wedges, ramps and sex furniture.

2) Get kinky with restraints, paddles, etc.

With the release of the popular 50 Shades of Grey erotic series, more couples have taken a walk on the wild side of kink, experimenting with sexual aids that usher in dominance and submission play into the bedroom. If you’ve ever been curious about using handcuffs during your foreplay, now’s a better time than never to try. There are handcuffs with fur to help add a bit of cushion for the wrists while bound, and wrist cuffs made of leather that can be used the same way. 

Looking for a little spanking action? There are paddles and small floggers made from strips of leather that can be used to lightly tap the skin of your partner and bring goosebumps to the surface. When it comes to kink play, always establish a safe word to use in case things become uncomfortable. Check out a full spectrum of kink accessories (ball gags, rope, handcuffs and more) at the Internet’s largest adult novelty retailer,

3) Buzz off with a vibrator

Buzzing, whirling and pulsating are just a few words to describe these sexual aids that send erotic jolts of energy through the body. Vibrators come in a variety of shapes, from silver bullets to jiggling rabbits and massaging wands that have become many a woman’s best friend and traveling companion when in need. So many options to choose from can be pretty intimidating.

Still, vibrators these days come in simple and discreet packaging. Want to direct your pleasure to an area of your choice? Try the Trojan Vibrations Vibrating Pulse! It’s waterproof and easy to clean, with three speeds and three pulse patterns to switch up the sensations. Looking for an option more spot-on?

Trojan’s Hot Spot Vibrating Ring lasts up to 20 minutes, and comes with a high-reach extension to hit the clitoris where it need to be stimulated—and can be used with or without a condom. (To find out more information about the full Trojan Vibrations line, log on to and click the products tab.)

With so many sexual aid options on the market, there’s no reason for lackluster, mundane sex. Break out of your conventional sexual shell and come into the new age of sexual enhancement by choosing a sex aid that both you and your partner can enjoy together.

Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website,, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.