Finding someone who you would describe as a great partner can be challenging. It takes patience, attentiveness and synergy. In other words, you’ve got to have that connection.

Sex can be rewarding, but it also can be quite awkward. If you find someone who you feel you may be out of sync in the bedroom with, here are three tips to greater sex.

1. Connect with someone who you enjoy outside of the bedroom.

Yeah, you can have a pretty solid “booty call” (thanks Bill Bellamy) relationship without anything else, but an orgasm, if that …will only be the result. For many, that’s all they want, which is fine. But if you happen to connect with someone that you like, but it isn’t popping as hard in the bedroom, then you’re on the right track. That energy will undoubtedly aid you in “connecting” when you find the right time.

2. Speak up about your desires.

Closed mouths don’t get fed, y’all. Your mate won’t be able to please you if they do not know what you like. In turn, they should be paying attention to your verbal cues and asking you for feedback. They should also be willing to receive what you tell them openly.

3. Aim to please.

Granted, sex is about you, but do not allow your ego to operate on your behalf. Stay in the moment and remember that sex is an exchange of pleasure and energy. Aim to please and enjoy the moment most, and you’ll worry about the arrival less.