Most Westerners view lovemaking as a form of recreation and a way to preserve life. But imagine if sex could be used to deepen the bonds between couples and bring each person into a closer connection with a higher power. Imagine if women could experience an orgasm during every single sexual encounter, and if even men could be multi-orgasmic. What if there was a way for couples to improve their health through the use of expressed sexual energy, a way for men and women to truly become unified in awareness?

This may seem like foreign concept to many, but all of these things are possible through the use of tantric sex. The art of tantric sex is over 6,000 years old, hailing from Indian culture as a rebellion against the organized religion of the day, which called for sexual repression in order to reach enlightenment. The tantric belief holds acts of sexual expression, eating, dance and song all as sacred, possessing the ability to connect individuals with the divine to reach enlightenment.

Through practicing deep intimacy with a partner, longing and passion can be restored within relationships where these necessary components have disappeared, and the sexual experience can be extended to reach maximum pleasure. Experiencing intimacy is our birthright, and through the use of tantric sex, couples can regain that right.

Tantric sex is all about catering to the needs and desires of your partner and extending the sexual experience to not only become multi-orgasmic during one single encounter, but to deepen the bond between lovers. Communication is a key component to the tantric experience, calling on couples to remain in each other’s awareness of what’s desired during intimate activity.  Permission must be granted in a loving way from each partner before the arousal process can begin.

Participating in tantric sex can help couples become less shameful about the sexual experience, and more aware of what’s needed to experience a truly fulfilled sex life. Each partner takes turns directing the other in how to touch, caress and pleasure each other, creating an area of safety and trust. Tantric sex is simple to perform, and can be used at any time. By following these simple tantric sex rules of thumb, couples can experience the greatest of sexual experiences.

1. Set aside time for intimacy building

Weeks could go by with little effort put into intimacy building, but tantric sex is based in this sacred act. In order to truly embrace the tantric experience during sex, each individual within the union must set aside weekly time for intimacy building. Jobs can be demanding, and caring for children or other loved ones can reduce the amount of time one has during the week to commit to being intimate, but making the time needs to be a high priority.

Planning ahead of time and dedicating one day out of each week to this activity is the best way to ensure intimacy is established. Have a reliable babysitter on file to care for the children while the adults play, and make sure to balance out the workload at the job on the designated day of intimacy building.

2. Set the atmosphere

Creating a safe and inviting place that gives both partners the permission and inspiration to play is essential to the tantric experience. Dim lighting provided by candlelight or overhead mood lighting, a warm temperature regulated by thermostat control, soft music to relax the mind and fresh linens that make a bed appear inviting are recommended ideas to create a sacred space for intimacy building. Remember, tantric sex is a sacred time between partners, and the atmosphere should inspire bonding and reflect comfort and relaxation. Just as time must be set aside for this special occasion, the space must also be reserved and cherished as a portal to the divine. Experiment with whatever atmospheric settings are comfortable for personal preferences.

3. Dress provocatively

Match the sexy atmosphere by dressing in a way to entice and seduce your partner. The goal is to create desire and the want for more. Men can choose to go shirtless while wearing a pair of boxers, briefs or whatever article of clothing makes them feel appealing, and women can choose from an array of lingerie options. Want to keep it simple? Bare it all and participate in the tantric experience in the buff. Whatever look is chosen, remain confident and sensual in appearance.

4. Use ritual to develop intimacy

Tantric sex is all about extending the sexual experience to draw couples together and deepen intimacy bonds. Before going into intercourse, practice rituals to get attuned to each other’s energy. Feeding each other, dancing together, reading each other poetry or simply sitting face-to-face and revealing what’s most appealing about each other are great ways to begin the tantric experience.

Bathing together and washing each other lovingly is a classic way to bond on an energetic level. (Water represents sexuality because of its fluidity, and has the power to cleanse away energies that may have been collected throughout the day). Incorporating massage after bathing together deepens the energetic bond between lovers and further builds anticipation for intercourse.

Remember, this process is all about prolonging physical sexual activity to ignite longing and passion. This is an important time for partners to communicate love and appreciation towards one another to make each other feel adored and cherished. These rituals can be extended over the course of a few hours to weeks at a time in order to prolong the experience. The more anticipation that builds, the deeper the connection becomes.

5. Breathe together

Breathing is a natural occurrence that happens without thought, but during tantric sex, synchronizing the breath is essential for both partners to come into complete awareness of each other. By sitting face-to-face with legs folded Indian style, couples are encouraged to maintain eye contact while matching each other’s breath in synchronized rhythm. Once touching begins during the arousal period, each partner may go back into his or her natural breathing pattern, but this synchronized breath will be used again if entering into tantric lovemaking.

6. Experiment with erotic touch

At this point in the tantric experience, couples can now experiment with erotic touch in order to get the fire of desire burning. Each partner will take turns instructing the other in how to stroke, caress and touch various erogenous zones (neck, chest, inner thighs, genitals, lips, nipples, buttocks, abdomen) and thank each other by using sounds of pleasure and words of adoration and encouragement. This exercise is all about each person taking control of his or her sexual satisfaction by communicating what’s desired. Don’t be shy to ask for something different during this process.

To learn more about the tantric sex experience. Check out this “how stuff works” page dedicated to the art.

Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website,, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.