For most Black singles, currently on the market or thinking about jumping back into the dating scene, it’s likely that the common goal is to find long-lasting love and hopefully, a potential ‘forever’ partner. However, navigating modern dating culture can be a complicated, frustrating process that can quickly turn people off from dating altogether. For those experiencing challenges, we’ve enlisted help from 3 in-demand, expert matchmakers from Bravo’s hit show “Love Match Atlanta” who dominate Atlanta’s exclusive dating scene.

Below, they are breaking down a list of their game-changing dating advice and insights on setting yourself up to meet your ideal match, approaching dating with an abundance mindset, and most importantly, how to avoid burnout and actually enjoy yourself along the way.

Navigate The Apps With Authenticity 

The dating scene now is highly fueled by dating apps, which entails endless options and mindless swiping. It can almost feel impossible to set yourself apart and match with the type of people you are interested in, especially when there are just so many options available. One thing that will absolutely help is to take the process seriously and get some professional pictures for your profile and be fully transparent about what you look like. Speaking of this, Shae Primus, CEO of The Middle Class Matchmaker, a matchmaking service which seeks to connect single, middle-class professionals looking for a partner, states, “take professional full body pictures vs bathroom selfies. Men should wear a tailored suit and ladies wear a fitted dress or skirt that shows your figure. No caps (hat fishing is real) and no filters (cat fishing is real).”

A second tip to attracting your ideal partner on dating apps is to highlight the things that are important to you. “It’s really helpful to highlight the things you enjoy or are passionate about. You can start by having amazing photos that paint a picture of what life is like with you. For example, your travel stories, places you frequent, things that are important to you, causes you’re passionate about. Take the suitor on a journey before they even meet you,” says Tana Gilmore, co-owner of The Matchmaking Duo, one of the most sought-after matchmaking services for Black women in the U.S.

Have The Right Mindset

Gilmore really feels that one of the keys to having a good dating experience is to approach dating with a good attitude. “Be optimistic about dating and potentially finding love. Have an open mind and just be willing to be present in the moment knowing you are meeting someone new and learning about that person without any expectations. The desperation comes into effect when you forward think too quickly and lose sight of the goal which is just to have fun and meet new people.” In addition to having a good attitude, it’s important to approach dating with an abundance mindset as well. Speaking of this, Primus reminds us “you only need one. The scarcity mentality makes us fearful. There are billions of singles in the world. You only need one. Remove all those restrictions on location or height or complexion or size. What you want to attract is a beautiful soul who loves you and is ready to commit to building a future with you.” 

For Black women, dating can feel particularly challenging, but Primus encourages Black women to approach dating with a different mindset. “Dating does not have to be difficult for us [Black women]. We go after the jobs we want, buy the houses we want, go on the trips we want but expect our mates to fall out of the sky! We need to be just as intentional about finding a mate! Go where the men are – tailgates, sports bars, cigar bars, Fraternity events, 100 Black Men events. Go where they are & don’t be afraid to start a conversation. Pay a compliment. Smile. And remember, you only need one!” Adding to this she reminds us that our thoughts truly do impact our reality. “Just like the quote says, ‘As a man thinketh, so is he.’ What we think is our reality. If you think dating is hard, it will be. If you think no one wants you, they won’t. Change your thoughts & change your life!”

Take It One Date At A Time

Dating can absolutely feel overwhelming at times, but instead of looking at it as something you are dreading, Kelli Fisher, co-owner of The Matchmaking Duo, advises her clients to embrace the process with joy. “Have FUN! Don’t put so much pressure on trying to figure out if this is THE ONE in 10 minutes flat! Instead of evaluating a date on whether it’s a waste of time or not, try thinking that every day you meet someone new, there are qualities and experiences you can learn from. Maybe that person will turn out to be the love of your life or maybe they can expand your circle and will lead you to someone or something else that’s amazing. Slow down the pace, remove the pressure, and enjoy the dating journey.”

If you are finding yourself feeling burned out or just completely exhausted even by the thought of dating, it might be time to take a break from the dating scene for a while and re-engage with dating when you are feeling rested and more optimistic. Speaking of this, Fisher’s advice is simple. “Take some time off to regroup. Focus on getting out and enjoying your own company along with surrounding yourself with friends and family even if it requires traveling to visit and have a temporary change of scenery.  Do what it takes to feel optimistic again and then jump back in the dating scene when you feel ready again. Plus, we always say if you’re single, you’re technically on the market 24 hours a day, 7 days a week so be prepared to incorporate the whole day, showing up as your amazing self no matter the setting. Whether you’re out running errands, at the gym, out with friends, people will see your optimistic attitude and you’ll become an attraction magnet!”