Dear B. Scott,

I really need help with this decision. I'm 18 years old and last September, I met a really great guy named "James" while we were both visiting New York City. We've been friends ever since. We both live in Florida, but in different areas. He's coming to visit for the first time next week and there is just one problem; I also met this adorable guy, "Ben," who treats me like a princess, he gets out of the car to open my door, he picks me up so I won't get my feet wet when the streets are wet, he says all these beautiful things and acts like a gentleman. But he's 32. James is 24, definitely an age I could work with but he doesn't live close by, so we would have a long distance relationship.

I don't want to get in a relationship too fast. I just got out of a long one a few months ago so I just want to take it slow, see what's out there and when I'm ready to fall in love with one of them I will.  I've made myself clear to both when I said I didn't want anything serious, just casual, they both don't seem to get it and keep trying to win my heart over. What should I do? 

Dear Love Muffin,

Slow down, baby. You’re 18 years old and like you said, there’s no need to rush into a relationship at this age.

First of all, I would encourage you to date men that are closer to your age. Even though you may consider yourself to be very mature, an older man is way more experienced in things you have yet to learn. I know that may seem alluring, but as they say everything that glitters isn’t gold.  At your current place in life, you should be with someone that you can have fun exploring life with, not someone who’s already done it. 

It’s easy to confuse a want for companionship with genuine feelings. You’re not in a relationship with either one of them, and that’s a good thing. You shouldn’t feel bad about continuing to date both of them. Just make sure that you’re being completely honest about where you are.

Get to know them better, let them keep trying to win your heart over. Maybe one of them will, maybe not. Enjoy the time you spend together and let life take its course.

I hate to sound super motherly, but your focus right now should be on school. College can be challenging and I wouldn’t want you to get distracted by either of these two boys.

Date, have fun, be safe.


B. Scott

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