So… There’s a security guard in Baltimore who started a crazy funny, pop culture, Beyonce-based, fan fiction saga that has now garnered upwards of 200,000 clicks…and counting.

Some of you already know what it is.

But for those that don’t, it’s called The Lemons and it’s trending. It’s not safe for work or appropriate reading for children, but you should read it when you can. The author, Action Bastard (aka Eric Richardson), has ingeniously combined all things Lemonade with all things Prince with all things Kardashian with all things Taylor Swift with all things Taraji P. Henson with all things Ava Duvernay. He comes by his pop culture knowledge honestly. In addition to being a rapper and producer, he keeps up with the Kardashians quite literally. talked with him today before he released part four of this shake-your-head funny saga. Before we get to the interview, here’s a smidge of the lemons, part 1. And by the way, he also released a new Drake fan fiction on Noisey today.

Bey:  Do you like it

Jay:  Its magnificent. You’ve really out done yourself. Wh-

Bey:  F*** you

Bey:  My fans are going to tear you apart lol

Jay: lo-

Bey:  Don’t f***ing laugh

Bey:  I’m going to forgive you in my HBO music video

Bey:  Every time you cheat I’m gonna do this

Jay:  Write an album?

Bey:  Start a movement

The tale goes on to incorporate some of everybody and everything that you hear about in entertainment news into stories of around 2,000 words in length. They are blocked, as if in screenplay format and some even have stage directions. It’s unclear if Queen Bey and Jay and Taraji have read the treatments, but Ava Duvernay sure has and it made her chuckle too.

Here’s what else Richardson had to say about his masterpiece.

EBONY.COM: What made you do this?

Richardson: People on Twitter were talking and I just kept going. I started on Twitter. I was just playing with it and making fun tweets. It ended up working for a story. People always tell me I’m funny and I always downplay it. I posted Part One and it got out of my hands.
EBONY.COM: Sure did. How many views now?

Richardson: 200,000. It’s kinda catching me off guard.


EBONY.COM: Have Beyonce or Jay’s people reached out to you yet?

Richardson: I saw Ava Duvernay liked it apparently. I was very starstruck about that. I put her in the story because, this is really random, but when I learned about Ava I thought she was really awesome. She seemed fun. At first I was like I need some women who would hang with Beyonce and who would scare Jay-Z the most. My friends have been getting me to go through the list of sassy women who might come through.


EBONY.COM: I snorted my Coke when you had Beyonce bring out her Katana blade on somebody. I could actually see that happening post-Lemonade and post-elevator.

Richardson: *chuckles* Beyonce be pulling out random weapons. I wanted to have the air of her needing to be respected. It’s funny to think of her threatening people with things. People know she’s not to be (messed) with.


EBONY.COM: How often do you write fan fiction? Are you in the Beyhive?

Richardson: I wasn’t even in the fan fiction community. A lot of people thought I was a Beyhive fan who had been writing for a long time. This is the first fan fiction I’ve ever written. Even my own son is making fun of me now. He’s six.


EBONY.COM: You put Prince into the story and said that Beyonce secreted him away in a villa. That made me smile. The Illuminati!

Richardson: Most people are in denial that Prince died anyway.


EBONY.COM: True. Did some people get mad at you for bringing Taylor Swift or Kanye or Kim into your stories?

Richardson: I’ve had a few people say ‘this is offensive, why did you say this stuff?’ but  I wasn’t gonna take the chance to not make fun of Caitlyn Jenner. My wife is my proofreader and if something is too over the top, I’ll think about it. From the get go I was worried I was gonna be flamed on Twitter, so I’m just going with whatever feels right. I’ll try not to be extra offensive. It’s the same vein as South Park and Mad TV

Read more of The Lemons here.  And do let us know what you think of this opus.

Adrienne Samuels Gibbs is a Chicago-based writer. Follow her @adriennewrites