Last week Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union made waves, per usual, as they sat down with Extra TV for an interview. Much is contained in the interview, but the main soundbyte that made the rounds was the remarks Dwyane Wade made about traditional gender roles. He stated that in his marriage with Gabrielle Union, they don’t believe things should be built around only him leading and her following. He understood from early on that configuration wasn’t going to work.
The Wades are no stranger to living with their own convictions no matter the scenario. I’ve written about them in the past regarding parenting, and their support of their daughter Zaya. Everyone has opinions. Knowing that, it’s expected that there would be some push back to those comments that Dwyane Wade made.
There’s a couple of things lost in this conversation that I think are worth highlighting. For starters, Dwyane Wade never said that the way he does marriage is the way that anyone else should do it. He certainly isn’t imposing his ways or beliefs on anyone else. Gabrielle and Dwyane clearly do what’s best for them—one band, one sound. Secondly, there are so many other examples of how people choose to delegate responsibilities and roles in their relationships.
For instance, I watch Black Love on the OWN network, and on an episode two weeks ago, the show spent a lot of time focusing on finances in relationships. There were several couples who faced financial hardships where the man in the relationship was having financial troubles. That’s heresy to anyone who is staunch on traditional gender roles. But those women stuck by their men. They didn’t do anything to make those men feel less than. They held it down until things began to turn around.
Now people, or “they” as Khaled would say, may take this to be an emasculating act. But as I often say, you can’t argue with results. Those couples made it through with even more love and appreciation for one another. They did it by doing things their way, and not anyone else’s. And there is the lesson. We all need to live with conviction. We all need to do what makes the best sense for us and our loved ones. One of the major keys to this life is becoming comfortable with adapting. Life can and will throw all kinds of things our way, the only things we have to fall on are our wisdom and judgment. Let D. Wade rock, I promise, you’ll be a hell of a lot happier if you did.
Kahlil Haywood is a writer, author, and content creator from Brooklyn, NY. He really thinks that you should be familiar with him by now, but if you aren’t, feel free to be. Follow his work on Instagram @Damnitpops and his thoughts and rants on Twitter @Damnpops.