Chris Brown says he’s still haunted by the night he got into a physical altercation with Rihanna.

The confession comes as part of his recent documentary, Welcome to My Life, where the singer gets quite candid about his life and experiences with fame, fortune and heartbreak.

“I remember she tried to kick me, but then I really hit her, with a closed fist, I punched her,” Brown says as he described the Feb. 8, 2009 incident in graphic detail. “I busted her lip. When I saw it, I was in shock. I was like, ‘F**k, why the hell did I hit her?'”

In the documentary, Brown says there were multiple violent incidents during his relationship with the singer. He says that particular incident all started when she went through his text messages and found something she didn’t like.

“From there she just spit in my face …spit blood in my face and it enraged me even more.”

He was convicted of felony assault and sentenced to 5 years probation as a result of the incident. He also had to complete 180 days of community service and one year of counseling, TMZ reports.

Brown says he will never forget the tragic incident, and that it will haunt him forever.

“I hate it to this day,” he reflected. “That’s gonna haunt me forever.”

Check out the clip below.