Chrisette Michele caught major backlash last spring for singing at President Donald Trump’s inauguration, and the former R&B diva is still dealing with the aftermath.
In fact, the former reality star recently took to Instagram to share just how much it affected her, revealing that the stress led to a miscarriage and thoughts of suicide.
“People ask me how I’m so positive after all I’ve been thru….. When you’re laying in bed naked, next to a bottle of Bacardi and [Xanax],” she wrote on Instagram Saturday. “When you wear pajamas morning and night. When you don’t pick up the phone for weeks, months. When you’re afraid to look at social media.”
You’ve just spent ten years kicking your own ass to be there for everyone and suddenly no one is there for you? I don’t need to be here…. And when you’ve drank so much you can’t see clearly. And when your speech is so slurred you just stop speaking. You hope you don’t wake up,” she continued.
She also detailed miscarrying, including a very graphic photo she chose to share via social media.
“Something came out of me. It was my child. The one my love and I worked so hard on,” she explained. “I never knew I could allow myself to be so broken that my physical body would break down. A miscarriage? Me?”
The singer also revealed that her record label dropped her as a result of all the public scrutiny.
The 34-year-old songstress says that her faith has been the only thing keeping her sane and helping her move forward.
“Thing is. I know God,” the R&B star shared. “He was kind enough to soften the blow. I promise you, I felt Him cover me like a blanket. I told Him I was out of control. I told Him I was having thoughts about leaving and not finishing all He’s called me to. He listened. There in lied my therapy… Dialogue with God. Call me crazy, but it’s better than being dead.”