The lyrics to TLC’s “No Scrubs” ring true when it comes to a woman looking for a man to date, but the same can also be said for a man looking for a mate. The term “gold digger” has been around for decades, and although many of us have no issue with spotting one, we can be rush to judgement when it comes to those who do not deserve the title.

The new term “goal digger” refers a woman (or man) who seeks to better her or his life and and the lives of those around them. They do not use people for personal materialistic gain. In fact, you want to surround yourself with goal diggers because they often serve as a means of inspiration. Below are three ways to tell that you’re dating a goal digger:

1. She is ambitious.

A goal digger has a drive that is much too powerful to ever fully depend on a man. She has a set number of goals to achieve for herself and often, they will have very little to do with you. While she loves to have support and encouragement from her mate, she’s very clear on defining a life outside of her relationship, which certainly includes personal goals and achievements.

2. She is thoughtful and considerate when it comes to your pockets.

This is a woman of substance. She doesn’t need you for much of anything outside of love, emotional, mental and physical needs and support. She will note how you treat her–every woman loves a gentleman–but she won’t depend on your cash to survive and thrive. In fact, she will pick up the bill if she finds you worthy, purchase gifts for you and will suggest more thoughtful activities, such as cooking at home and movie nights versus going out and spending money all the time once she feels secure in the relationship.

3. She motivates you to pursue your personal goals.

A goal digger serves as a natural source of inspiration. No, you don’t necessarily have to match her drive; she will respect where you are in life if she has accepted you as a mate. But the moment you mention some achievement you’d like to attain, she is on your team. She will want to know how you plan to reach your goal and will be happy to assist.

Goal diggers are great, inspirational people because they are truly partners. Yes, there are some folks who are too self-absorbed to think outside of what they have going on, but they shouldn’t be in a relationship, anyway. This woman, on the other hand (when ready), usually exemplifies the true definition of love and partnership.