This is your Superpower Love and Life Strategist Deya Direct, and I am so excited to be partnering with EBONY .com during their 28 Days of Love campaign!  Welcome to Superpower Tools to Love Again!  Tool #4 is Determine Priorities vs. Preferences. 

Determine your priorities vs. your preferences.  I am talking about your non-negotiables as opposed to nice but not absolutely necessary.  When it comes to love and choosing a life partner, we have to be very careful about focusing on things more than thoughts.  In other words, our preferences are the things we like: looks, wining and dining, and material things.  Yes, these things are nice, but they don’t last and not one of them makes a relationship stand the test when times get rough.  Sure, he may be 6 feet, tall, dark and handsome, but do you like him as a person? Does he minister to your soul in the midnight hour?  We must make long-term decisions based on our priorities, the things that are rooted in our core beliefs and needs such as financial responsibility, spiritual beliefs, how a person makes decisions, family matters.   

My challenge to you is to write down at least five priorities and five preferences, and use the to help them guide your decisions.  Happy 28 Days of EBONY Love. For more information,reach out to me at, and tune into 

Love and life coach Deya Smith-Taylor, aka Deya Direct, is a best-selling author. Her most recent book is Soft Is the New Power: Embracing Your Feminine Edge to Win in Love & Life. Learn more at, and follow her on Instagram & Twitter @Deyadirect.