1. Deadline and The Dangerous Ethnics Taking Over The Telly: I read most of Nellie Andreeva's article decrying diversity on TV as "too much of a good thing" and the only feeling I could really muster was I hope Deadline pays her enough to cover all of the boxes of tissue she’ll need to wipe her white tears away in the coming years. Dumb white, casually racist people writing things that scream dumb, white, and casually racist is such a common occurrence that I cannot consistently get angry otherwise I’ll get way too high blood pressure and die of a stroke. If I’m going to die because of something that causes high blood pressure, it had better come with a biscuit. In sum, Nellie is an idiot, I don’t wish her well, and I hope her dreams are filled with nothing but non-white people for the rest of her damn life. Mazel tov, sis.
2. Mo’Ne Davis Is Better Than Me: I don’t want to pick a part a child for deciding to take the higher road with respect to a vile, pathetic poor excuse for an adult calling her a “slut” for no other reason than simply thriving while simultaneously being Black.
And yet, I was somewhat put off by Mo’Ne Davis even being placed in the position to express sympathy for former Bloomsburg University baseball player Joey Casselberry, who has dismissed from his team after tweeting that insult.
Davis explained: "Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance. I know he didn't mean it in that type of way. I know people get tired of seeing me on TV. But sometimes you got to think about what you're doing before you do it. It hurt on my part, but he hurt even more. If it was me, I would want to take that back. I know how hard he's worked. Why not give him a second chance?"
I salute her for being mature enough to be so forgiving, but the problem is Casselberry meant exactly what he said and he knew what it meant to call both a young lady and a young Black girl that word. That doesn’t mean Davis needed to carry his ignorance with her. It’s probably for the best that she’s already opted to move on. Still, while those anchors sat there and saluted her for being so thoughtful, I wish more would think to talk about men like Joey Casselberry and how pathetic and problematic their line of thinking is.
3. God Is Probably Not A George Zimmerman Fan: Child killer, attention whore, and one reason why you hope there’s a hell because you want him to burn to a crisp in it, George Zimmerman, just doesn’t know when to shut the f*ck up. Look no further than a new video interview shot by his divorce lawyer in which he not only remains unapologetic about taking the life of Trayvon Martin, he professes to feel victimized by President Obama. Excuse me, President Barack Hussein Obama since Zimmerman made a point to include his middle name for conspicuous reasons.
Zimmerman says, "Instead of rushing to judgment, making racially charged comments and pitting American against American, I believe that he should have taken the higher road."
A man who kills children and allegedly terrorized the woman who married him wants someone else to take the high road. Worse is Zimmerman’s assertion that the events that made him infamous were a part of God’s plan, thus to question it would be “hypocritical” and “almost blasphemous.” F*ck George Zimmerman.
4. Calm Down On Hyping Tink, Timbabland: Now, I know Timbaland wants us to get as excited about Tink as he is, but for the love of God, do so within reason. Timbaland was recently quoted saying that Aaliyah appeared to him in a dream and said of Tink, “She’s the one.” Dude, do you realize how you sound? It starts with a C and ends with a “zzzzzzzz!”
Timbaland had already invoked Aaliyah when he compared Tink’s forthcoming debut album with One In A Million. This reminds me of the time Irv Gotti compared Pink Friday to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. I wish people would learn to stop setting up new artists with such unrealistic expectations because the minute the album comes out and it doesn’t sound like it was executive produced by Jesus Christ, people will be immediately let down. And no shade, Tink’s “Ratchet Commandments” already screams Missy Elliott trying to cover “Doo Wop (That Thing)” only not nearly half as good. Tink’s previous work was better, but good luck, y’all.
5. Say What, Slim Thug?: In Slim Thug’s New York Times piece – yes, I’m serious – he writes about the financial loss he took from smashing his real estate agency. In other words, it’s basically that scene on Love & Hip Hop with Yung Joc, Karlie Redd, and that other girl, only Slim Thug actually bought a house.
I applaud his honesty, but I’m still stuck on this sentence: “Who would have known that sex would lead to losing money? Obviously, I didn’t.”
YOU ARE A RAPPER. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING RIGHT HERE?
Beyond that, I’d like to point out that I, too, recently contributed to the New York Times magazine so H-TINE! I bet Bun B knows better, though.