So the reality star formally known as Porsha Stewart received zero assets in her divorce settlement with Kordell Stewart. Per court documents, she Porsha Williams isn’t getting the house, alimony, cars, none of his NFL retirement, and pretty much anything else you can think of. Hell, she has to pay her own credit card balances. Although her marriage looked miserable on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Porsha did go out of her way to tilt the scale on longstanding gay rumors plaguing her now ex-husband – which I’m pretty sure makes Kordell feel even more vindicated. [Concrete Loop]

Nick Gordon and his sister-fake wife, Bobbi Kristina Brown, caught some fire on social media after Gordon posted a picture of a bong and proceeded to curse out critics – claiming the late Whitney Houston would’ve retweeted and favorited the tweet. So yeah, that happened. [Rhymes With Snitches]

Live from his “Please, Baby, Baby, Please, Paula” tour, Robin Thicke offered the following love advice to recent concert attendees: “We gotta learn to forgive each other, you know, learn to love each other, no matter who it is in your family or relationship. Hold on tight to the one you love.” Did you get that, Paula Patton? ‘Cause that surely wasn’t for us. [FOX 411]

Naomi Campbell, aka one of my favorite people ever, wants to be a mommy and she is not waiting for a man to get the process going.  Speaking with designer Diane von Furstenberg during a SiriusXM Radio Town Hall, Nay Nay declared, “I do want to have children, whether I have a man or not. I will have it on my own.”

When it came to the issue of weight in the modeling industry, while von Furstenberg acknowledged that she’s met models suffering from anorexia, Naomi offered a different take: “You cannot blame our industry for the body type of women. The food issue is a really sensitive subject for me, and it makes me nervous to really talk about it because I’ve never seen a designer in my whole 28 years say to someone, ‘Go on a diet, lose weight.’” [Page Six]

Word is that Lupita Nyong'o’s boo thang really is rapper Somali-born rapper K'Naan and that the two have been dating since September.  A source says about Nyong’s romance with the 36-year-old, "She loves his humanitarianism. They're both passionate about African issues." He has kids, but no, she hasn’t met them apparently. I feel dirty now. [Us]

Former Miss Kentucky Djuan Trent took a stand recently by declaring “I am queer” in a blog post written after her home state’s ban on recognizing out-of-state gay marriages was ruled unconstitutional. 

In the post, Trent wrote: "For a while, I struggled with the decision of whether or not it was necessary to ‘come out.’ I have realized that there is really no way for people to know that I disagree with their views or, even moreso, to know that they are talking about me, unless I actually open my mouth and say it.” [For Harriet]

Frank Ocean’s deal with Chiptole fell through – resulting in the singer-songwriter returning the advance he received. Now, Frank may have uploaded a shot of the check he wrote, but the company claims they never got it. On the check, which had “F**K YOU” written in the memo, a rep for Chiptole says, “We’ve seen the photo, but haven’t received a check.” [The Jasmine Brand]

Tyler Perry doesn’t have kids, but he’d like for the world to know that he believes in “ass whooping” as it relates to disciplining them. Promoting their answer to the Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton, and Bette Midler classic, The First Wives Club, subtly called The Single Moms Club, Madea and Ms. Nia Long discussed child rearing.

Tyler said, "Me, I'm into a** whooping, but I don't have kids. Nia added, “My younger one, he's only two so I try to talk to him, but the older one, he gets it," I can think of another way to punish the kids, but I’m gonna keep it cute. [BET]

In a “You’re Embarrassing Yourselves, and More Importantly, My Hometown” report, four women – Gayle Quoquisia, Sherrel Hadnot, Alisa Flannagan, and Jameisha Kennon – were all caught on camera stealing weave last September. “The laws” couldn’t identify them, but ultimately, thanks to social media, the shop owner, Kehlin Farooq, was able to track those weave robbers down. Why? ‘Cause of Instagram. Not that I promote stealing, but if you gon’ steal, why not protect your face? Did you not see Set It Off (and hell, that didn’t end well for them either). [Crunk + Disorderly]

 

 

 

And finally, Chris Brown has a modeling agency, y’all. I don’t want to say anything bad about that young man at present moment, so I’m just gonna say, God bless, Breezy.

Michael Arceneaux is a writer who blogs at thecynicalones.com, tweets at @youngsinick, and praises Beyoncé’s name everywhere he goes.

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