In an open letter written to her seven year old self, "Basketball Wives" star Evelyn Lozada reflects on her upbringing, the women roles models in her life, and the true sources for her infamously violent and angry behavior: 

"You’ll look through the rearview mirror of your life and see a mountain of mistakes. You’ll realize that although it appears that you’re living out a dream, your seven year old self could never picture this near nightmare at thirty-six. 

You’ll remember the days when you drowned out the fighting and drama in your own house and the negativity of the women you loved who ultimately shape who you will become. 

You’ll recall the moments when you sat in front of the television each day after school in search of someone positive and found Oprah and wondered if people like her would ever be a part of your life, or if you’d always have the jaded ones you watched on Jerry Springer." 

Recently, Lozada, the fiancé of Chad Ochocino, has been the subject of several campaigns and discussions regarding bullying and bad role models. Her notoriously hot temper, which has lead to many televised cat fights — including her throwing a champagne bottle at a cast mate — sparked thousands of people to petition her off the show. Currently, Lozada is making the media rounds, speaking out and owning up to her bad girl ways, as well as prepping for her upcoming nuptials which will also be televised on VH1.