Jada Pinkett Smith shared a clip on Friday afternoon detailing how prioritizing romantic love negatively impacted her relationships. The Red Table Talk host said that’s why she regards her union with Will Smith as a life partnership and not a marriage.
“I had an epiphany the other day,” Jada said in the Instagram video. “I had to call Will and say, ‘You know what? I have to thank you for enduring my rage.’ It made me realize how durable love must be because we don’t have all the answers in the beginning.”
The Smiths tied the knot in 1997. In Oct. 2018, the couple discussed their “horrible” wedding and what has helped them be together for more than 20 years on the Facebook Watch series.
In her caption, Jada further explained why she doesn’t believe romantic love is the highest form of love.
“I realized how unmet standards of romantic love often justified it to turn into a cold heart that many times can fuel hateful and brutal actions of revenge and manipulation towards someone you ‘say’ or ‘said’ you loved,” she wrote.
“MY romantic standard of love was all that mattered and if it wasn’t met … there was more than hell to pay. My romantic standards were feeding my ego whether they were met or unmet. I experienced some very hard lessons (and continue to do so) that formed the decision that my ego and my heart could not share the same space,” Jada added.
It was that revelation that led to changing her view of her relationship with the rapper-turned-actor.
“It was also the deciding factor to transform my union to @willsmith from a marriage (contaminated with all the above) to a life partnership led by and steeped in ‘devotional friendship,’” Jada stated in conclusion. “The only thing to do in life is to find the form of love where we can give the best of ourselves AND … it’s not always going to look like you thought.”
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Christina Santi is a news and culture writer for EBONY.com. Born and raised in the Bronx, New York, she considers herself a well-read, not so traditional feminist with a heavy interest in music, fashion and pop culture. Christina currently lives in New York City, where she refers to her Cuban & Jamaican descent often while writing about her experiences as a first-generation Afro-Latinx in America. She also devotes time writing personalized reading material for her tutees and turning ideas into words for streetwear brand, PUER By Noel Bronson.