On Monday, my favorite Negro Telenovela, Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, returns on VH1. Full disclosure: I have already seen the season premiere. Fret not: I am not about to play the role of spoiler. If you are a fan of this franchise, there’s a good chance you might also be a fan of swinging on people on the sneak. I don’t want those problems or court cases. However, I would like to take the opportunity to drop a few hints of what you can expect tonight
I predict most will not be shocked about Mimi Faust’s new boo.
With all due respect to Mimi Faust, she dated Stevie J, who in theory is a good catch, but you know, you’ve since watched the show. You know that as talented as he is, there are only so many sidepieces, tears, and child support check disputes any person should put up with. That said, she followed Stevie J up with Nikko, who is by far, the worst thing to ever happened to her, and us, the viewers. So, about Mimi’s new boo, which I feel is very blatant in its teasing in the commercial, is a step up. To be fair, though, anyone breathing and unwilling to make another shower rod-showcasing porn would be a step up for her.
Momma Dee still exists within her own solar system.
Surprise, surprise: Momma Dee continues to get in her son’s business. And shocker: she acts a true fool in very public space. What you will see tonight won’t be as bad as her tooth falling out of her mouth mid-performance, but it’s pretty close in level of ridiculousness. Oh yeah: Momma Dee’s marriage already has some less than ideal circumstances soiling it. Lift her in prayer.
The new folks deliver.
As you’ve heard by now, the King Family is joining the cast. They will launch the new season and while they may come across as clones of the folks whose mess we’ve already been watching, trust me, they add layers. I will say the matriarch of the family gives Momma Dee a run for her money in terms of not knowing when to mind her damn business.
Joseline is still on everyone’s mouth.
Remember how there appeared to be a build up to the Puerto Rican Princess? Yeah, it seems to be the case this time again. I will note that Tammy has been added back to the full cast. I expect those two to curse each other smooth out within minutes. Oh, Karlie Redd appears to have issues with Joseline. As does Dime Penny or whatever her name is, though I thought they settled their beef. Then again, when you need a storyline, you do what you got to do.
There will be fists flying.
I know some of you are yelling “DUH, NEGRO!” but I know a few wanted confirmation because this is their version of UFC, so here you go.
Make sure you tweet me at @youngsinick during the premiere. Talk then.