Bobbi Kristina Brown never had much of a chance, did she?
I feel guilty for simply posing that question, but I have more grief over what has happened to her in her short life. Though there are conflicting accounts over the marriage of her parents, Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston – and who did what and to whom – the greatest sin of their romance was this: their child was victim to their chaos.
When called to reflect on Bobbi Kristina in the wake of her being discovered unresponsive in a bathtub, I said that no matter who happens to that girl, I hope that she finally founds peace. Since that time, we’ve found out more about the last days of Bobbi Kristina’s life and it only made it more apparent just how much she was in need of that. Multiple sources would confirm that the daughter of two famous addicts had her own struggles with substance abuse. She reportedly regularly used heroin, cocaine, and Xanax. She also described as a “heavy drinker” and a person who regularly “appeared to be high, slurring her words and seeming incoherent.” There are also serious questions about the young man who she chose as her partner, someone who had been loved and cared for by her mother.
There were signs of this on the now even more inappropriate reality series, The Houstons: On Our Own, which chronicled Whitney Houston’s family members in the wake of the singer’s untimely death. There was one scene in particular that featured Bobbi Kristina – who already arrived to the home of her aunt, Pat Houston, seemingly high – drinking wine and barely able to form a coherent sentence. During a confessional following that scene, Pat said, “I do not want her dealing with her mother’s passing in the wrong way.”
What Pat wanted clearly did not happen, and though we may never know exactly what did, it all ultimately serves as yet another reminder that everyone around Bobbi Kristina failed her. Of course, there is something to be said of personal accountability, and it is true that there were people within the entertainment community who tried to help her as she grieved while the public watched. I do not judge her nor should she be judged.
When you are the child of an addict, certain skill sets and life lessons often go untaught.
You also tend to carry with you so many of your parents’ burdens on your own shoulders. Those suffering from the disease of addiction can point to a specific pain from a specific source. Said pain is often transferred from parent to child and subsequently from child to their own creations. It is an ugly, vicious cycle far too many aware acutely aware of. Couple that with instant fame by way of her lineage, and it’s easy to see how what all that happened to Bobbi Kristina did.
Yes, very few people are born into fame and fortune, but what good is it if you don’t have stability around you, parents you can depend on, and a safety net that doesn’t include those willing to exploit your pain for profit?
Bobbi Kristina did not have much chance of survival – that is, beyond the vegetative state she laid in for months before her death – after it was revealed she suffered “global and irreversible brain damage.” What’s saddest, however, is that she never was provided much of a chance for a healthy life.
Much of her existence was overshadowed by her ultra famous folks – even in this space. It is hard to talk about Bobbi Kristina Brown’s death without invoking the names of those who gave her life. How horrifying must’ve been to not only have your identity so directly impacted by other people, but by people still caught on trying to fix themselves? Bobbi Kristina Brown’s bad habits may have led to her too early demise, but this tragedy is not her fault.
It is easy to understand why what happened to Bobbi Kristina happened, but it does not make it any easier to digest. She deserved a better world that was given to her. I’m so sorry that she never got to live long enough to create one for herself.