A friend, who is in the middle of a Lifetime Movie Network-style break-up, recently shared the gory details regarding a tryst she had with a guy she really didn’t like. “But I’m horny,” she raved as I gave her the disapproving glare. I call him the Wear-and-Tear Brotha. You know who he is. He’s the one who you’re not remotely attracted to (and he knows it), but he persists through eye-rolls, fake smiles, unanswered emails and texts, and suddenly, he ends up in your bed.
It happens to the best of us. But what’s a famished libido to do? Downward dog. Exercise can work miracles on even the most ravenous of privates. Right now, as you’re reading this article, squadrons of folks are pouring in and out of gyms having found a healthier (safer) way to tame the puma. Why? They’re high on "E," otherwise known as Endorphins.
“[Endorphins are] your own personal drug,” emailed Kwaku James, a seasoned personal trainer and martial artist who helps people reach their fitness goals through Primal Flow, a workout series that includes animal and primal movement.
James explains that endorphins are neurotransmitters produced as a response to certain stimuli like stress, fear or pain. They originate throughout parts of your body, brain and nervous system and interact with cells found in regions of the brain responsible for blocking pain and controlling emotion. This results in a euphoric high often experienced during sex, an adrenalin rush, exercise or even eating hot sauce.
“Working out is like escaping into another world, and once you find your flow, you can become addicted to that feeling,” said James.
Here are five workout routines that will curb your sexual appetite:
1) Spinning (or Cycling): This is a high energy workout. Some classes are offered in fitness facilities, but there are also outdoor classes. If you’re spinning indoors, some instructors focus on increasing the resistance and maintaining 60 RPM (rotations per minute) on the bike. Others focus on speed. Some instructors are super creative and want you to perform Cirque du Soleil moves as you fantasy-ride through the Saharan Desert. But music is key. If you hate the music, you’ll hate the ride, so once you find a class and/or instructor that matches your personality, spinning can easily become a stinky-sweet alternative to surrendering to post-break-up or I’m-just-horny sex. Though it’s not the most crotch-friendly of exercises, you’ll get over it. If not, buy a bicycle seat pad and enjoy the ride.
2) Animal Aerobics: Crawling, leaping, jumping, hopping. If you like being on all fours, this is perfect for you. This is one of those find-your-inner-freak classes that can be so much fun. It’s ideal for improving flexibility and agility, and once you perfect your puma crawl, you’ll be hosting animal aerobics at your crib without regret.
3) Jogging: If you live in a beautiful city with gorgeous ocean views, mountainous terrain, winding parks, or lush landscape, jogging is a thrilling exercise for your wanderlust. No instructors, no steel weights, no musty rooms. And you can pace yourself. The further you go, the more thrilling the ride, and once the endorphins kick in, you’ll want to go even longer.
4) Pilates: The mat exercise version of Pilates focuses on using your body weight to strengthen your core, but most Pilates classes I’ve taken integrate controlled, precise movements that can shape the most gelatinous derriere. Many classes are taught by former dancers and yogis, so you’re stretching, bending and moving like a dancer. And once you find your Pilates rhythm, you will ooze endorphins.
5) Yoga: If you’ve done a sun salutation, you know the ethereal downward dog stretch that sends your derriere into the clouds. Yoga is a spiritual practice where your breath facilitates each movement, and the deeper you breathe, the further the body moves and the longer you can hold individual poses. And if that doesn’t move you, yoga is sexy, so you can enjoy spreading eagle and elongating your spine in a smorgasbord of fitness erotica.